Incorrect Barden Bellas

82 {ONESHOT: The Barden Avengers}

The ensemble of superheroes also known by the world as 'Avengers' were all standing at a circular table on the Mitchell tower - chosen place to have emergency meetings.

The team had worked together since college (a few years prior), coincidentally all superheroes went to the same school, Barden University! And no bald guy in a wheelchair was involved, it was a regular college. But in a universe where God's and superheroes roam the streets like tour guides, why would you question that?

Their leader Beca Mitchell, who many may recognize as 'Iron Girl', was hosting the meeting as usual.

"Alright guys, like I anticipated in my text, we have an emergency," the brunette started.

"Taco Tuesday is delayed? Oh man,"

"No, not that kind of emergency, Amy,"

"Pizza Friday still on too?"

"This has nothing to do with food," Beca sighed, "it's kind of a bigger threat for humanity, actually,"

"I'm a threat for humanity too when we don't have Taco Tuesday. Even worse than She-Hulk over here," the blonde countered with a raise of eyebrows, pointing at sculptured beauty Stacie Conrad, who scrunched up her nose as Ashley and Jessica - respectively Ant Woman and The Wasp - shared an amused look.

"Um guys, this isn't a competition about who's the biggest threat," Cynthia Rose, commonly called 'Black Panther' , pointed out.

"Of course not! But if it were a competition, I'd win," Fat Amy replied, muttering the last part.

"Anyways," Beca resumed, "the threat I'm talking about is Das Sound Machine. An army of warriors that's coming to take over the planet,"

"What planet do they come from? Vormir?" their beloved Captain America, Aubrey Posen, guessed.

"No,"

"Morag?" Stacie tried.

"Nope,"

"Where then?"

"Germany,"

There was a pause, the whole group visibly perplexed.

"Germany? As in... Earth's Germany?" CR asked for confirmation with a frown.

"I'm banned from that country," Lily, or Doctor Strange, muttered. She dissected dead animals for fun so her alias was fitting.

"Yeah. Well they mixed their DNA's with that of Chitauri, so they're not exactly humans."

"As if Germans weren't scary already," Fat Amy rolled her eyes.

"I heard they eat a lot of meat, they're like protein tanks," Chloe, or legendary spy Black Widow, stated.

"No, I'm pretty sure americans eat more meat. When I first came to this country, they offered me a meat pie," Flo, AKA the group's archer 'Hawkeye', voiced, "I used to think you made pies with fruit,"

"Well Europeans are so entitled, I can't wait to kick their créme chantilly asses," Fat Amy said.

"That's French, actually," Cynthia Rose responded.

"Sorry, we don't study earth geography among gods,"

"Ugh yeah you're a god, we get it!" Stacie rolled her eyes.

"Calm your tits, Jack and the Beanstalk!"

"Did they really do that? Mix up their DNAs? " Aubrey questioned, changing the subject.

"It's a little hard to explain," Beca clarified, running a hand through her hair.

"I would understand," Stacie bragged, "I actually graduated college,"