DISCLAIMER: these are all quotes from shows, I take no credit!
*****
Chicago: ok, I'm just saying that it's my wedding too and I should have a say in it
Chloe: but I'm the bride, so I win
Chicago: but I thought marriage is about two equal partners sharing a life together
Chloe: right
Chloe: but I'm the bride, so I win
-----
Bumper, burnt from head to toe: I went to that tanning place your girlfriend suggested
Jesse: was that place the sun?
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Fat Amy: I'll handle this. How much is it?
Clerk: $8,600
Fat Amy: I'll give you 10 dollars
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Chloe: I kissed Chicago
Aubrey: what? When?
Chloe: he came backstage right after you left
Aubrey: I was only hone 20 minutes! What did you do, shine a bat symbol on your vagina?
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Beca: guys I did something terrible
Lily: it's ok I have a shovel
----
Fat Amy: it takes a lot of communication to turn Bumper from boy to man in bed
Beca: I'm gonna need another drink to forget I just heard that
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Aubrey: if God doesn'exist, who made all of this?! *gestures around the house*
CR: Target
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Flo: Yo entiendo
Chloe: I also... play Nintendo
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Chloe: I had shots, they were fun!
Aubrey: *raises eyebrows*
Chloe: the first ten anyway
------
Chloe: I don't need therapy, I have you guys!
Stacie: we're just as fucked up as you are. It's the blind leading the blind
------
[over the phone]
Beca: where are you?
Chloe, high: I'm in the desert, but there's water here
Beca: you mean the beach?
Chloe: am I? Ah, I love the beach
-------
Emily: ah, it's so cold
Benji: here, take my jacket
Fat Amy: I'm cold, too
Bumper: well damn Amy, I can't control the weather
-------
Aubrey, about Beca: I say hi, she says "shut the fuck up". Maybe calls me a bitch or "you Taylor Swift ass motherfucker"
Fat Amy: that's just fucking racist. You look nothing like Taylor Swift
-------
Chloe, placing her hands on Beca's eyes: guess who?
Beca: it's either Chloe or the cold, clammy hands of death
--------
Aubrey: could you be any more annoying?!
Beca: *pauses*
Beca: yes
---------
Beca: fuck I forgot you can't drive
Fat Amy: no no, I can drive, the DMV has ASKED me not to drive
Beca: I'll send a car over
*******
A/N: Double update because why not ;)
Shows quoted: Gossip Girl, Friends, One Day At A Time, Grace And Frankie, One Day At A Time, That 70s Show, Orange Is The New Black, How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls
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Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
