Incorrect Barden Bellas

109

Chloe: Beca, as my girlfriend I think you should be professing your love to me more actively
Beca: but I'm not your girlfriend
Chloe: that's a you problem

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[the confessions scene]

Stacie: guys, I also want to confess a secret
Fat Amy: is it that you have a lot of sex?
Stacie: wha- how did you know that??
CR: girl, that's pilot info. we're on, like, season 5 of knowing you

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Stacie: *miming*
CR: 2 words. first word, 5 letters
Fat Amy: Emily
Fat Amy: Emily snores
Fat Amy: Emily stiff
Fat Amy: Emily can't hold a note
Emily, mumbling: those weren't even 2 words...
Stacie, huffing frustratedly: it has nothing to do with Emily!
Fat Amy: good singing

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Chloe, drunkedly: I'm not drunk! I'm not *hiccup* a lightweight!
Beca: sure. what month is it?
Chloe: Ju- Jupiter
Beca: that's a planet, hon. did you mean June?
Chloe: uh-huh
Beca: okay. it's November.
Chloe: is it the one with the rings??
Beca: that's another planet.
Fat Amy: oh come on give her another chance! Chloe, what day is it?
Chloe: uhh
Fat Amy: just guess, there aren't many
Chloe: Rick? no, wait, that's another planet isn't it?
Beca: sweetie, why would a planet be named Rick?
Chloe: I don't know? ask his parents!
Fat Amy: ok we're cutting down on the gin

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Aubrey: what baby item are you getting for Stacie's baby shower?
Flo: why would I get her a baby item? she's an adult
Aubrey: it's not for Stacie, it's for the baby
Flo: why? she isn't even born yet! why am I getting her gifts?
Aubrey: cause the party is for her
Flo: why? she didn't do anything! Stacie's doing all the work!
Aubrey: yes but she's her baby
Flo: ok but I don't know her
Aubrey: but-
Flo: I refuse to partake in this capitalistic nonsense! *walks away*
Aubrey: what just happened

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Beca: I'm quitting my job!
Fat Amy: no way! Emily is gonna starve!
Beca: she won't if you stop stealing her lunch
Fat Amy: Emily is gonna starve!

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Chloe: we tend to be good at some things and bad at some things. being good at everything is impossible, and what seems like a flaw might be a strength. what matters is that we give try and give it our all
Beca: I asked how my cake was, you could have just said bad
Fat Amy: it tastes like feet

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Stacie: you know, maybe if we had sex education classes at school, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant so young
Beca: uhm, we did
Stacie: what? where was I?
Beca: you were skipping them to make out with that guy in the janitor's closet
Stacie: oh... *shrugs*

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Aubrey: I swear we're not leaving this practice room until your feet start bleeding!
Fat Amy: uh, you mean "our" feet
Aubrey: I don't make mistakes, Patricia

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Jessica: are we humans or are we dancers?
Ashley: aren't dancers typically human?
Jessica: I know, that didn't make sense to me either!
Ashley: all the ones I've met were humans
Jessica: unless they were lying. in which case, the question should be "humans or liars"
Ashley: dancers tend to lie a lot
Jessica: do they?
Ashley:  for sure. like, what's a "pirouette"? you just made that up!
Jessica: period girl

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Beca: okay, I'm gonna go at Jesse's. any advice?
Chloe: aim for the throat
Beca: what?
Chloe: what?

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[at the yacht]

Fat Amy : trust me. have I ever been wrong?
Beca: at least twice a day.
Fat Amy: alright, fair... but have I ever put you in danger?
Beca: at least thrice a day.

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Aubrey: the date will go well, Em. Just be yourself, laugh at his jokes and if he starts talking about the crypto market, you go out the restroom window
Stacie: or you give him my number instead
Aubrey: Stacie!
Stacie: what? he sounds loaded, I don't care if he wears superhero boxers
Aubrey: crypto currency, Stace, not kryptonite. And it's so bad for the environment!
Stacie: the trees don't need a Chanel bag but I do

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Dentist: say "ahhh"
Chloe: what key?
Dentist: ma'am.

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