Emily: what do you wanna be when you graduate?
Stacie: rich
Emily: but being rich isn't a job
Stacie: then explain the Kardashians-------
Beca: Chloe, my love for you is...
Chloe: oh my god
Beca: ...the only thing bigger than...
Chloe: yes??
Beca: ...my dick
Chloe: why are you like this-------
Fat Amy: like everything else, a friendship with me has a couple of side effects
Beca: such as trauma and exasperation-------
Beca: Chloe, I would love to taste your vegetable pie, but unfortunately I'm allergic to... what's this green thing?
Chloe: celery
Beca: ...celery-------
Beca: love is stupid
Fat Amy: I know that Chloe isn't the brightest crayon in the box, but "stupid" is a little exaggerated, don't you think-------
Chloe: talk dirty to me
Beca: public restrooms-------
Chloe, to the Bellas: Aubrey and Beca are starting to act more civil towards one another
[Meanwhile]
Aubrey: you're such a bitch!
Beca: *barks*--------
Fat Amy: I love you, Beca. You're the Blair to my Serena
Beca: hold up, why do I have to be Blair and you get to be Serena?
Fat Amy: for starters, I'm a blonde and you're a brunette. I'm effortlessly amazing and you're... well, you're you. Your name starts with a B, mine with an S
Beca: your name does not start with an S
Fat Amy: it does if you take into account synonyms! Slightly Overweight Amy.

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Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...