Chloe: so girls, where did you spend your summer??
Stacie: the Hamptons!
Aubrey: just Rhode Island
Fat Amy: Bondi Beach, baby!
Flo: Witness Protection Program!
Chloe: huh?
Aubrey:
Flo: Barbados
Chloe: awes!
-------
Aubrey: are you gonna run from your problems?
Beca: nah, physical activity stresses me out
--------
DSM: *making fun of the Bellas in german*
Chloe: what are they saying?
Stacie, shrugging: no idea. I don't know german
Beca: I wish I didn't
Fat Amy: I think I heard "krapfen"...
CR: no you're just thinking about breakfast
Stacie: well we're gonna kick their krapfens at the world's!
Beca: *frowns*
Stacie: I don't. know. german.
-------
Stacie: I would die with the Bellas
Chloe: I would die for the Bellas
Beca: I would die because of the Bellas
-------
Stacie: how did it go with Chloe? Did you tell her how you feel?
Beca: I told her I love her...
Stacie: yes!
Beca: ... Enthusiasm about the group
Stacie: what?
Beca: I panicked!
Stacie: I noticed! What else?
Beca: I said she's everything I want...
Stacie: it's okay then!
Beca: ...in a co-captain
Stacie: seriously?!
Beca: I know, I'm sorry! I, uh, I also told her she's the best...
Stacie: well, I guess that's an improvement
Beca: ...friend I've ever had
Stacie: you friend zoned her without an input?! Oh my God!
Beca: there's more...
Stacie: it can't possibly get worse
Beca:
Stacie: so?
Beca: I called her bro
Stacie: Jesus, Beca!
-------
Theo: does any of you ladies like to cook?
Fat Amy: oh I don't mean to brag, but I'm a chef
Theo: really?
Beca: really?
Fat Amy: ahem, yeah. Well, not professionally, but I cooked an amazing boeuf Bourguignon for George Calombaris once and he said it was "divine"
Theo: impressive!
Fat Amy: I know! Except it wasn't really a boeuf Bourguignon, but more of a 2 minute noodles kinda thing. And it wasn't exactly George Calombaris but a delivery guy from New South Wales called George... Actually, I think his name was Doug. And I'm not 100% sure that he said "divine" cause I wasn't really paying attention, but who cares about the details?
------
[at the supermarket]
Emily: what does "virgin" mean?
Chloe: um, how do I... Well... Basically virgin is someone who's never, you know, uh, had sex...
Emily: oh... Okay
Emily, holding up oil: is it healthier if the olives have never had sex?
-----
Beca: I think it's time for plan B
Fat Amy: girl, this is plan D
******
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
