A/N: Again, these are ALL quotes from tv shows I've watched, I just adapted them to Pitch Perfect sooo I take no credit. Furthermore, do we want a part 3 as well? xx
****
Aubrey: don't worry, everything will be fine
Emily: how can you say that?
Aubrey: because sometimes when things get rough, denial is all we have
----
Chloe: I have a fine coat that no innocent animals suffered to make
Flo: just Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody... for 12 cents an hour...
Chloe: *stares*
Flo: I just made that up!
----
Pieter, to Fat Amy: so sorry to hear about your father being a criminal and you being penniless and all that ugliness... but it kinda is karma. You are where you are now, and I'm on top.
Beca: look, Pieter, I know we just met, but there's no way you're a top.
----
Aubrey: you're lucky I edited your application
Stacie: why? What was so bad?
Aubrey: you requested to work in Santa's sex toy shop, Stacie. That's not even a thing.
Stacie: tell that to my candy-cane-shaped vibrator.
Aubrey: Stacie!
Stacie: I call it "Santa's big helper"
----
Aubrey: I would be a terrible hooker. I have a heart, and soul, and dreams, and I wanna fall in love and have a family
Fat Amy: oh just say it, you're bad in bed
----
Beca: I lied to Aubrey once
CR: once?
Beca: okay, I got caught once
----
Fat Amy: here's a list of things I can hide under my boobs.
Fat Amy: staples, ten pencils, paperback copy of Arabian Knights, dog bone, remote control, hardback copy of Wuthering Heights.
----
Stacie: don't Chloe-out!
Chloe: did you just use my name as a verb?
Stacie: oh yeah, we do that behind your back. "Chloe-out", to overthink. Also, see, "Chloe-up", to overthink with disastrous results. Sample sentence: Billy Chloe-ed up when he tried-
Chloe: okay, I get it!
----
Chloe: my name is Chloe Beale, and I finally know how Jesus feels in his house way up at the North Pole because I'm on top of the world. Senior year was awesome and now I get to relive every minute of it. I'm co-captain of the Barden Bellas and-
Aubrey: Chloe, who are you talking to?
Chloe: I thought I was doing a voiceover.
----
Dr. Mitchell: *walks into Beca's room*
Dr. Mitchell: honey, I haven't seen you all day
Beca: I look pretty much the same
----
Jesse: uh this is where you work. You the ticket-tracker?
Stacie: no, I'm a stripper.
Jesse: yeah but... what is it that you do here?
Stacie: stripper.
Jesse: because college is so expensive these days...
Stacie: I'm a stripper.
Jesse: but only topless...
Stacie: completely naked.
----
Cop: I'm not a thug, I'm police!
Fat Amy: okay, then name one law!
Cop: don't kill people!
Fat Amy: that's on me, I set the bar too low.
----
[On the phone]
Stacie: hello?
Tom: Stacie, it's Tom
Stacie: *looks confused*
Tom: Chloe's ex...
Stacie: *still confused*
Tom: you and I had sex on her birthday cake...
Stacie: *still confused*
Tom: it was chocolate
Stacie: oh hey, what's up?
----
Aubrey: Uni, my love, how are you?
Unicycle, shaking magic 8ball: I am decidedly so
Aubrey: that's very profound
----
Aubrey: if God doesn't exist, who made all of this? *gestures around the house*
CR: Target
******
A/N: shows quoted: How I Met Your Mother, New Girl, One Day At A Time, Glee, Lizzie McGuire, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, 2 Broke Girls, Friends, Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Don't Trust The B***h In Apartment 23
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanficThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
