A/N: these are all quotes from reality shows,I take no credit. Enjoy!
******
Aubrey, venting to someone: "you're perfect, you're beautiful, you look like Linda Evangelista, you're a model. Everything about you is perfect! Did you stone those tights? Oh you're smiling!"
Beca: *rolls her eyes*
Aubrey: they eat her up every single time she's on that damn stage. She could just, she could walk out there in a fucking diaper and they'll be like"Beca, your smile is beautiful!"
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Beca: tired-ass showgirl
Aubrey: at least I am a showgirl, bitch! Go back to Party City where you belong!
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Clerk: the price is $49,604.25
Fat Amy, to Beca: do you have 25 cents?
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Stacie, on her first day at work: *lowers phone a little* do we charge to check out the brakes squeaking?
Co-worker: no ma'am
Stacie, back on the phone: we usually charge but you sound hot so I'll give it to you for free
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Emily: if you don't like me even though I put myself out there, I'm done. I'm not gonna conversate with you
CR: I think it's converse
Emily: huh?
CR: just say talk
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[there's a bird in the Bellas house]
Bellas, in the living room: *scream*
Beca, in her room: *looks to the side*
Bellas: *keep screaming*
Beca: *stares at the camera*
Bellas: *still screaming*
Beca: *shakes her head*
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Lily: *mumbles something*
Lily, to John and Gail: you don't have to be loud. When you speak quiet people are like *makes mesmerized face*
CR: I see her lips moving but I don't hear a damn thing
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[after the Kennedy Center performance]
Beca: what were you thinking when you were up there?
Fat Amy: I felt like I was a sea nymph on acid scaling a wall in the sunshine
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Lily: I like nosebleeds
CR: what does that mean?
Lily: I have a really big fascination with blood
CR: I used to have them all the time when I was little
Lily: jealous
CR: *grimaces*
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The Bellas: *are being loud*
Aubrey, on the phone: sorry, I CAN'T HEAR I'M IN THE PHONE!!!
Ashley and Jessica in their room: *stop talking*
Fat Amy and Beca in their room: *stop talking*
Stacie and CR in their room: *stop talking*
Stacie:.... So-
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[After Beca left the Bellas]
Beca: I really wanna stay and I think I deserve to stay...
Stacie: party
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Alice: you don't have any talent, this is a show for talented people, not for people who know how to buy fucking shoes. You should not be here
Chloe: your tone seems very pointed right now
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Ashley: I don't know how to do laundry. Do you?
Jessica: I saw it in a movie
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[When Beca got arrested]
Aubrey: Stacie, stop taking selfies! Your Bella aca-sister is going to jail!
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Beca: I think Bumper and Amy had a fight, I'm not sure
Jesse: it's tough when you've been married so long... One or two weeks
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Fat Amy: Legacy. I'm. Going. To. Say. This. Very. Slowly. So. You. Can. Understand.
Emily: *nods*
Fat Amy: you're dumb
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Beca: well you kinda told me I have no personality, I mean that didn't make me feel good or give me confidence
Aubrey: well I'm hoping it will light a fire under your ass
Beca: ...
Aubrey: *stares*
Beca: *stares back*
Beca, sarcastically: is there something on my face?
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Kommissar: let me ask you a very fair question. What do you do successfully?
Beca:
Kommissar: quickly
Beca:
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Chloe: do you have that like silver stuff that you like use to wrap sandwiches?
CR: aluminum foil?
-------
Treble: what do you want me to call you?
Stacie: Princess Stacie... Or Bitch
******
A/N: what would you guys want the next chapter to be?
Shows quoted: Rupaul's Drag Race, America's Next Top Model, The Simple Life, Keeping Up With The Kardashians
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Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
