Aubrey: I hit my head so hard, I don't remember anything...
Chloe: you don't remember us being kidnapped but Fat Amy's evil father?
Aubrey: no... what?
Fat Amy: UH cause that never happened... *gives Chloe a look*
Chloe: what about when Beca got us disqualified from nationals?
Beca:. ... I don't recall that *gulps*
Chloe: right, that wasn't even our worst disqualification. don't you remember when we were cut off from nationals because Fat Amy's pants got ripped and-
Fat Amy: *kicks her shin*
Chloe: ow!
Fat Amy: Chloe is a little confused, maybe she hit her head too
Chloe: no, you just hit my- OW!
Beca, grabbing Chloe and moving away: I'll get her checked. poor thing
----------
Fat Amy: check this out, I switched Stacie's morning pills with tic tacs!
Beca: what the hell dude!
Fat Amy: relax! it's just a prank, she will notice immediately that the looks and taste are different!
Beca: that's still-oh shit, here she comes. Hey, Stace
Stacie: *stops in front of them and waits*
Stacie: I'm pregnant!
Fat Amy: *chokes on a chip she was munching on*
Beca: *pats Amy's back*
Stacie, pulling out the tic tacs with an eye roll: I'm kidding. I figured it out
Beca: can y'all do pranks that don't threaten to kill people?!
Flo: hi guys, I just pulled a prank on Cynthia Rose
Beca: please tell me it's not anything-
CR, running around with her hair on fire (again): AHHHHHHH
Beca: grab the fire extinguisher quick!!
Chloe: nooo! I filled it with gasoline for my own prank!!
Beca: WHY THE- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE
---------
Emily: I'm not an anxious person. it's just hard to be among people and I start over thinking every word I say and then breathing gets harder so I struggle to talk and it all feels so uncomfortable
CR: girl that's anxiety
Emily, starting to worry: it is?
----------
Chloe: now we're talking!
Flo: weren't we talking before?
Chloe: no no... it's an expression
Flo:
Flo, frowning: so we're miming?
-----------
Fat Amy: hey Bec, I love your top
Chloe: I have a name you know
------------
Stacie, comforting Chloe after a break
up: don't worry Chlo, there's a lot of fish in the sea
Chloe: *sniffles*
Lily: and only 1200 can kill you
-------------
Aubrey: do you ever think of the consequences of what you do?!
Fat Amy: yes. see? I thought of the consequences of saying "no" and acted accordingly
------------
Stacie: we were watching Baywatch and I came to realize I would be an amazing lifeguard
CR: you're a good swimmer?
Stacie:
Stacie: they do that?
-------------
Flo: I don't wanna go to work. I wanna live in the ocean
Stacie: how are you gonna live in the ocean?
Flo: why not? I don't even have to hit the grocery store. I will be surrounded by fish and water
Stacie: you can't drink sea water
Flo: I prefer "seasoned" and yes I can
Stacie: that's not...
Flo: it's water, it's seasoning and it's also a toilet. there's no way God designed it for us not to do this
Stacie: or God has favorites and it's not humans...
Flo: screw it I'm buying a boat
Stacie: no-
--------------
Emily, tucked in bed: so yeah that's my song playing
Fat Amy: thank god she said that. I was about to comment that I didn't know she was one of those people who sleep to the sound of whales, it would have been so awkward
Emily, offended: you just said it!!
--------------
Chloe: there's no way I will do that
Stacie: Beca is gonna be there
Chloe: there's no way I won't do that
--------------
Aubrey: maybe it's just me, but-
Beca: let me stop you there. it's just you.
--------------
Emily: I need a nail!
Flo: *looks down to her own fingers perplexed*
Emily: no, I mean like, what you hit with a hammer
Flo: ...I am never getting an American manicure
--------------
Beca, pissed: when were you gonna tell me??
Stacie, sighing: fine. the door says "pull"
Beca: I know that now!!
---------------
Chloe: why do Australians abbreviate everything like that? like, you're "aussies". you call football "footy". an umbrella is a "brolly". what's with that?
Fat Amy: do we even? I never noticed. now can you work the barbie so I can make some sandies for my rellies?
Chloe: seriously
*********
A/N: hope you enjoyed this chappie
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
