Dr Mitchell: Beca, going to LA will be expensive. Money doesn't grow on trees
Beca: oh really?
Dr. Mitchell: yes, really
Beca: well, money is made of paper. And what does paper come from?
Dr. Mitchell:
Beca: where does paper come from, dad?
-------
Chloe: okay ladies, what are we fighting?
Beca: capitalism!
Chloe: no no, the world's best acapella groups. Most specifically, who do we need to take down?
Beca: the police corps!
Chloe: Das Sound Machine, Bec... And what are we gonna take over?
Beca: the patriarchy!
Chloe: honey no
-------
Stacie: you know what's crazy?
Flo: that there's still a VAT on tampons when they should clearly be free
Stacie: actually I was gonna say something about pizza cones... But I'd like to keep your answer
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Emily: sweatpants are not the only type of pants you sweat in
Beca:
Emily: sure, you exercise in them, but you also exercise in leggings. Are leggings classified as sweatpants?
Beca:
Emily: but the real question is: are they called sweatpants because they're designed to make you sweat, or because usually you work out in them and therefore sweat?
Beca: Legacy, it's 3am
-------
Chloe: I swear Beca, global warming is real!
Beca: good, we save on the heating bill
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Stacie: apparently when you wear glasses you "look more intellectual"
CR: which is something I'll never understand. What makes you smarter? Blindness??
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Fat Amy: I made a privilege scheme to see who's the most underprivileged, we all start from 0 points.
Fat Amy: we're all women so -10 points each. Flo, Lily and Cynthia Rose, y'all are poc so -20 points each. And CR you're also queer so again, -20 points. Stacie... +20 points
Stacie: huh?
Fat Amy: Chloe, you're a ginger... -50 points
Chloe: that sounds offensive but I'm not sure how
Fat Amy: Legacy, you're Jewish, so you're disqualified
Emily: what??
Fat Amy: Beca... I'm gathering evidence that you're a vampire, but until then I'll keep you at 0
Beca: I'm not a vampire
Fat Amy: sure, Fangs. Finally, Ashley and Jessica are joint twins, so -30
Jessica, frowning: we're not joint twins
Fat Amy: you don't have to lie, this isn't a competition
Aubrey: what about me?
Fat Amy: I don't know, you scare me a little. Let's say 10
Aubrey: plus or minus?
Fat Amy: yeah
------
Aubrey: if a genie could grant you one wish, what would you wish for?
Stacie: I want a Marc Jacobs purse
CR: you can also say, like... World peace, social justice, equality, end of hunger...
Stacie: I don't think you know how expensive a Marc Jacobs is
*****
A/N: random question for you guys - who are your favorite singers/musicians? I wanna see something 🧐
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Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
