Three's Company

60

Jayden

Faith: Hello?
Me: Hey woman!
Faith: Hey boo! What's going on with you?
Me: I need a chat, auntie! Like old times.
Faith: What you got going on now, girl?
Me: It's actually not me this time. I caught Nuri in her room making out with her boyfriend and in the midst of all that, she tells me Daija likes girls and I just wasn't expecting to jump straight into all this THIS soon.
Faith: Well you had the talk with her didn't you?
Me: Of course. I told her all the stuff you told me when I was her age but ultimately she should wait.
Faith: Baby, you just gotta trust that she'll make the right decision and make sure she's comfortable coming to you either way.
Me: I know. I know. This is stressful. I wasn't prepared.
Faith: And the other baby likes girl, huh?
Me: Yeah. She said they talked and she told her she has a crush on a girl in her class. She said she thinks she liked a girl at her old school too. But I can't say anything. I have to wait until she comes to me.
Faith: You just gotta let that happen. Even if it's years.
Me: Years?!
Faith: She just met you. You've gotta gain her trust.
Me: You're right.
Faith: And you gotta be whatever you felt like you didn't have growing up.
Me: I was just naive. Or confused. I don't know.
Faith: Well it sounds like she's pretty clear. It's just a matter of being supportive and open when she come sit chat. Which I know you will be.
Me: I mean...it's not a big deal to me. It's not different from being straight. It doesn't have to be a huge thing. I just want her to be free to do what she feels and be happy in that.
Faith: And she will be...when the time is right.
Me: You're right. This is why I call you. So you can talk some sense into me.
Faith: That's what I'm here for.
Me: Anyway...you need to come over for dinner soon. You got a man yet, auntie?
Faith: Now you know I keep me a little roster.
Me: I know that's right!
Faith: I got me a little date tonight. I'm going swing dancing.
Me: How is that you have more dates than me?!
Faith: Little girl, you got a husband and a girlfriend.
Me: Touché.
Faith: How is that going?
Me: To be honest, we're just chillin'. We just go with the flow. Whatever feels right in the moment. She and I have become good friends and we have a good time together. Sexually and otherwise.
Faith: You not falling, are you?
Me: You know, it's not even like that. I was kinda scared it would be. But it's very much like a friends with benefits. We do our thing, hang out, and it's cool.
Faith: Chile...I guess. I just knew you were going fall in love with some woman and leave that poor man.
Me: Now you know me better than that.
Faith: I thought I did. But you kinda threw me for a loop. I am happy that everybody's happy. That's what matters the most. And...I'm a little jealous. I need a man that don't mind me having a boyfriend.
Me: Hush!
Faith: I'm serious. These older men. They be wanting commitment, okay?!
Me: You need to settle down!
Faith: I've decided I just don't want a nigga breathing up my air all the time. They be wanting you to cook and clean. I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
Me: Okay, Drake!
Faith: It keeps things exciting! Fifty-five is too old to be settling down. We both already set in our ways. Let's just have fun. Eat, take trips, my groove is here to stay!
Me: You are something else.
Faith: Ain't that why you love me?!
Me: It sure the hell is.

I heard the garage door opening and footsteps running through the kitchen.

Me: Okay, auntie. These kids done rolled up in here and it's probably about to get rowdy. I'm serious about you coming over for dinner.
Faith: Let me know, baby.
Me: I will.
Faith: Alright, love you niecypoo.
Me: I love you too, auntie. Talk to you later.
Faith: Bye bye.

Daija: Mama Jay! Micah said my friend, Kensley could come over and play.

Micah: I did...I hope it's okay.

Me: Of course!

Nuri walked over to me and leaned towards my ear. "That's the friend," she whispered. She tapped me on my shoulder and headed upstairs to her room.

Me: Hi Kensley, it's nice to meet you sweetheart. What time do we need to have you home?

Kensley: Hi! My mama doesn't really mind. She just told me to ask you to call her. I can give you her number.

Me: That would be perfect. Our house is your house. Make yourself at home. Daija knows where the snacks are.

Daija: We're gonna go play the Nintendo Switch. Come on, Ken!

They ran off into the den.

Me: We doing abbreviated names now?

Micah: Did Nuri tell you?

Me: She did.

Micah: It's all innocent fun. But you can just see her face light up when she's around. It's kinda cute.

Me: Well I guess I'll order some pizzas or something and give her mom a call.

Meanwhile...across the city.

Jess

Me: I just feel like I'm in between a rock in a hard place. I've got this wonderful man who loves me and cares for me, who forgave me and trusts me. But I've got this other man who also loves me. He's attentive and caring and I don't want to choose.

My therapist, Zalia, had me taking notes non-stop since I'd started speaking. Every now and then, she's interject. I'm sure she thought I was nuts. But I was stuck.

Me: The fact of the matter is Garrett is never going away. He's in my life forever by way of our daughter.

Zalia: You have to decide what you want. Boundaries are key. You haven't mentioned that you feel like you're lacking anything from Deon. It's sounds like you want your cake and eat it too.

Me: You aren't saying anything I don't already know.

Zalia: Do you love him? Garrett...

Me: I do. It's more than just lust. Sometimes I think about what would've happened if I chose him instead. If my life would be different. Or better. But it's not bad now. It's extremely good actually.

Zalia: Do you feel like Deon meets you where you are and loves you in the way you need to be loved. Via your love languages.

Me: He does...he's very intentional with everything he does.

Zalia: You're allowing the what-ifs to eat you up?

Me: So what do I do?

Zalia: I can't tell you what to do. I can give you the tools to make a decision and the decision you make should include staying with your husband and let going of what could've been and establishing boundaries between you and Garrett or breaking up your marriage but also considering the fact that a relationship with Garrett may not be what you imagined. You have to be prepared for the potential consequences, should the arise. There's no turning back if you go down that road. Are you ready for that?

Me: I don't know.

Zalia: You need to think long and hard. Your homework before our next session evaluating your marriage. Think about whether you're actually fulfilled or whether you just like the idea of Deon. Are your needs being met? Are you secure? I am going to email you a worksheet with these questions and I want to do some deep thinking. Beyond the surface of our discussions and we're going to walk through two scenarios. Your current life with Deon and your what-if life with Garrett. I think you've watched your best friend figure out a way to make this work with her husband and deep down you know that could never happen with your husband. As a woman, as a professional, I simply do not see your husband allowing you to be in a side relationship with a man who fathered your child. A man that you cheated on him with and he forgave you for. So this is ultimately about your happiness. If you were to break up, his heart will be broke. If you were to continue living a life of deception and infidelity, eventually he will find out and his heart will be broken. He doesn't win either way. So you have to think about you and what's best for you.

Me: I know...

Zalia: Let's end it here and pick it back up in two weeks.

Zalia unlocked her computer and pulled up her calendar and scheduled the next appointment. I grabbed my purse and headed out of her office feeling the pressure of such a weighted decision. I couldn't believe what I'd gotten myself into. Had I listened to Jayden in the first place, I wouldn't even be in this position. BUT I also wouldn't have Morgan. So maybe it was worth it? I don't know.