Three's Company

85

Jess

Me: Can we talk?
Garrett: For sure, baby. Wassup?

Deon had just come by the house to take Morgan on a play date with Jay and Cam's kids, leaving Garrett and I alone. I had been putting off the conversation all week. But I don't think I could do that any longer.

Me: I don't really know how to say this. Or ask really. And it's just a proposal. No pressure.
Garrett: What is it?
Me: So...Deon and I had had sex a few nights ago.
Garrett: Okay...

He seemed unbothered. Unsurprised.

Me: But that's not really what this is about. He umm...asked me something. But it's not really about me. It's about the three of us.
Garrett: What is it?
Me: Well...what do you think about an open relationship?
Garrett: We're in a relationship?
Me: I mean...I don't know what we are.  We've never really made any parameters. And I'm okay with that. This isn't about that.
Garrett: Yeah...you've always been free to date who you want. And be married. I've never had a reason not to allow you that freedom. I know we didn't go about it the most ethical way when you were married.
Me: Yeah...well we've also never discussed what we're doing, what our desires, are. We just comfortable.
Garrett: I thought that was what you wanted.
Me: I mean...I've always wanted you. I've always wanted Deon. I fell in love with you both.
Garrett: And I knew that.
Me: But now...I'm divorced. But I still love him. And I still love you. And he still loves me...and he wants to try to work things out. And I'm not against it. But I don't wanna lose you.
Garrett: I'm not going anywhere.
Me: I know. So I guess I'm asking how we move forward.
Garrett: Okay...so you're not really explicitly saying what you want. So I'm gonna tell you what I think I heard and you can tell me whether I have it right. Cuz you're nervous and scared and I'd hoped that I'd never given you a reason to be either with me.
Me: You haven't...
Garrett: You want to be with me. And Deon. In what capacity?
Me: Partners.
Garrett: He's okay with that?
Me: It was his idea.
Garrett: Interesting...
Me: Yeah...
Garrett: So you want an official title after eight years?
Me: I guess...
Garrett: I thought you just wanted to be your baby daddy forever.
Me: I mean...
Garrett: Why are you scared?
Me: I don't know actually.
Garrett: I've showed you that I'm open.
Me: You have.
Garrett: And if that's what he wants, you should give it to him.
Me: You make me happy.
Garrett: And nothing has to change. Because I still wanna do that.
Me: It feels weird that we haven't discussed this before now. Like I don't even know if you've dated or been with someone else since I've known you. 
Garrett: Do you wanna know?
Me: I don't know. I guess...
Garrett: It's not a secret. You don't have to be scared to ask. I just assumed you didn't care. But umm, I'm the time we've known each other, I have dated. Not for long. 3 people.
Me: Why not long?
Garrett: Incompatibility mostly. Nothing really bad. The last person I dated, he and I vibed really well, we just had too much going on. We've remained friends. We talk and meet up for drinks sometimes.

He?!

Me: You said he...
Garrett: I am fluid. And funny enough, non-monogamous.
Me: You've never told me that.
Garrett: You never asked.
Me: We should talk more. Outside of Morgan.
Garrett: We can...
Me: I fill like you've been living a secret life.
Garrett: Not secret. Just living. 
Me: What is non-monogamous for you? In what capacity?
Garrett: I date men and women. I think I most closely identify with being pansexual. I have dated up to three people at one time. Most often, I'll have two partners. Currently, there's only you and to be honest, I am not really seeking anymore right now. I don't really desire marriage. Or a nuclear family. Our dynamic means the absolute world to me. The only thing I'd change is how you and I went about certain things at certain points during your marriage.
Me: I feel like I'm just meeting you for the first time. Like I don't know you.
Garrett: I can see that.
Me: But it's not a bad thing. I'm enlightened. Intrigued, I guess.
Garrett: I'm a regular guy.
Me: I know. I feel even more silly for being afraid to talk to you.
Garrett: My question is: what is your desire for us?
Me: I'm on the same page as you. I never really considered non-monogamy, polyamory, or any of the sorts for myself. But...I know that I don't want to get married again. I don't really want more kids. Our dynamic has been perfect. Healing has brought me a sense of peace that was completely and totally unexpected at this point. So when Deon presented this, I had reservations, but only because he's the one that's been hurt multiple times in all of this. And I don't want him to make decisions based on being hurt or settling for a dynamic he doesn't want for the sake of not losing me.
Garrett: Do you think he's doing that?
Me: Honestly, I don't know. He seems to be in a clear headspace.
Garrett: So now that every thing is out on the table, are you okay with he and I dating other people if it came to that?
Me: Yeah. Of course.
Garrett: What about living arrangements?
Me: I like things the way they are.
Garrett: So you want us to continue the way things are? We drop off dick, see Morgan and be on our way?

I laughed a little bit. Yeah.

Me: That sounds like the perfect arrangement to me. I like when you stay over sometimes. And cuddle. And make me breakfast. Give me massages and play in my hair.
Garrett: You are GREEDY!
Me: You've spoiled me!
Garrett: I have.
Me: I like it that way.
Garrett: I wanna keep it that way.
Me: Okay...I'm glad we had this talk.
Garrett: We good?
Me: We've never stopped being good.
Garrett: Good.
Me: I love you.
Garrett: I love you too. So do I get a title now?
Me: You've always had a title.
Garrett: I have?
Me: Mmhmm.

I climbed in his lap, straddling him on the couch. "Morgan isn't the only one that calls you daddy." I kissed his lips. He lifted my shirt, admiring my titties taking each of my nipples into his mouth.

As we started to make love on the couch, now knowing his sexuality, I couldn't help but to think about he and Deon together. And I felt sick for thinking it cuz I knew Deon was straight. He'd never agree to the absolute filth that I desired between the two of them.