Three's Company

94

Jayden

Nuri: I...think I have feelings for someone else...besides Devin.
Me: Oh?

I looked at Nuri completely unprepared for what she had just said. She texted me first thing in the morning asking to talk. I made a cup of coffee and went upstairs to her bedroom. When I entered, she laid on her pillow looking anxious or something. I asked if she was okay, if something bad happened at the party. She said she was fine. But then immediately went into...

Nuri: A girl...

Oh shit!

Me: Uhh...how did you come to that conclusion?
Nuri: Okay promise you won't judge.
Me: I was a teenager once, baby. There probably isn't anything you've done that I haven't also done or thought.
Nuri: Okay. We were at the party and we were playing spin the bottle and the bottle landed on Lasha and we went back to a room and she came out to me and we made out. I liked it more than I thought I would so we didn't stop and she gave me...she umm...ate my...like at first I thought she was straight. But she's like a lesbian or whatever.

I stopped her. She was talking so fast. Everything came out like word vomit. "Okay stop. Slow down."

Nuri: I don't know if I like girls or even if I like her. But I liked that. And she wouldn't let me...you know...back to her. So we just kissed. I don't know if I cheated on Devin, since it was a game. Did I break the rules? I haven't told anybody else. Not even my friends. She and I haven't talked about it since. Devin was there obviously. He didn't ask any questions. I'm sure he'd thought I'd just pretend to kiss her. But I don't know what to do.

Me: You really be out here stressing me out. Jesus, girl!

Nuri: I'm sorry...

Me: I mean. I'm not mad. I just never talked to my parents about this kinda stuff. So while I'm open...it's just new. That's all.

Nuri: I understand.

Me: So Lasha is a lesbian. You kissed her and now you want to know if you're also a lesbian.

Nuri: Yeah. Is this what happened with you and Micah?

I choked, nearly spitting out my coffee.

Me: Umm kinda, I guess.

Nuri: I heard you and dad talking about it.

I knew she knew about Justice. I did not know she knew about Micah too.

Me: I mean...I think it's okay to explore your sexuality. You're just a teenager. There are so many things for you to learn before you truly know what you like.

Nuri: I can't stop thinking about her. But I don't wanna break up with Devin. I don't know if he'll be mad. I wanna be honest with him. But I'm scared of what will happen. I don't wanna hurt him. He's a really good guy.

Me: I get that, baby. You have to decide what you want.

Nuri: I keep replaying the kiss in my head. Well...all of it.

Me: I am a believer that the grass is not greener on the other side. But I also believe that you will never truly know unless you seek the answers you're looking for.

Nuri: How did you convince dad to let you date Coach Justice?

Me: Okay, Nuri. Whew! You're taking me fast.

Nuri: I'm sorry. I never expected this to happen.

Me: I believe that honesty is the best policy. Your conscience will eat you up keeping secrets. And I understand your hesitancy. But I think the best way to handle all of this is to do so in a way that people don't get hurt.

Nuri: But you said the grass isn't always greener.

Me: It's not. But your decision should be made based on what you want. Do you want to forget about what happened and be with Devin or do you want to explore a connection with someone else?

Nuri: I think I wanna stay with Devin. I love him. He's sweet and kind. He values the same things that I do. He doesn't give in to peer pressure. He's not like the other guys at school.

Me: And Lasha?

Nuri: I don't know her that well. We have a class together. She plays volleyball. I also don't think she cares about being in the "in crowd." We talked some. She's nice.

Me: Well...it seems like you at least have good taste?

Nuri: Stoppp!

Me: I'm just saying. I get it. That's how I fell in love with Micah.

Nuri: You were in love with her?

Me: I was...

Nuri: Do you love Coach Justice now?

Me: I do...

Nuri: It's seems so crazy to be in love with two people. Is that hard?

Me: They both make it really easy.

Nuri: I love that for you.

Me: So...what are you gonna do?

Nuri: I don't know. I'm gonna tell Dev. And then see where it goes I guess?

Me: I think that's a good plan.

Nuri: I don't want him to be mad at me. I don't want him to be hurt.

Me: If he's the guy you think he is, he'll understand. But he might still be hurt.

Nuri: I wish I could take it back.

Me: Sometimes things need to happen. At the end of the day, you love Devin and you want to protect his heart. But you also have to go for what you want. You're in high school. You're learning who you are. What you want. What you like. And that's okay. Who's to say either of these people are you person? My parents always used to tell me that you have a full life to live. You're gonna go to college in a couple years and you might meet someone new. Or you might use this time to figure out what you want and find yourself in a whole new situation. No matter what, your happiness is what's most important.

Nuri: I thought I was sure of who I was.

Me: Baby, we are always changing, growing, evolving. Look at me. I was in my 30s when I truly became who I desired to be. It took mistakes. It took learning and trial and error.

Nuri: You seem so happy.

Me: I am. And I want you to be as well.

Nuri: Thank you...