Love affair | Chacha

I don't deserve happiness

                    ~Chapter 142~
I don't deserve happiness

Charlis POV:
As Chase walked away I stood their in absolute shock tears still rolling down my face.

Married... he is married...
I've been dating a married man?! You've got to be kidding me?!

You know what. It doesn't even matter at this point, I've already lost everything. There's no way in hell Chase will ever be forgiving me for what I've done, I lost him. For good this time...

Chase was right... I deserved this... I'm not okay? I'm some sort of sociopath who doesn't have feelings because I don't understand what I couldn't see. I had him, he loved me and treated me right but I lost time because I was stupid.

My whole life... I was abused, physically and mentally... I went from my parents who hit me every single day for god knows what... to my first husband who would threaten to kill me if I didn't listen to him... to my second who would always make me beg on my knees for him not to hurt me... to my third who would treat me like some prostitute he found on the street one day... and to Alexander who would make me do everything for HIS kids and if I didn't he'd put a knife to my throat.

So when I finally found Chase, it was weird. It was weird to remember what it felt like to be happy. To be treated with respect, like I was an actual human being. I felt safe because I knew never in a million years would he lay a hand on me...
I was finally happy... but i ruined it because that's what i do... I ruin things for myself because I don't deserve happiness... I don't deserve someone like Chase...

I guess chase was destined to find out eventually... and I knew that...

Moral of the story... I make horrible choices in men even even I'm
Not married to them... Justin, my stalker... Dan... dated both me and Chase at the same time plus he would make out with me while I was drunk and half asleep Which I never really fully acknowledged or thought about because I didn't really think it was that bad compared to what other people have done to me

I looked at Mason and he looked sad

Charli: "please tell me you aren't actually married... please tell me he just made that up??! Please say i haven't been your affair?!"

He looked up at me and grabbed my arm

Mason: "no no no no- never-"
Charli: "so you aren't married? Thank god"

Phew.

Mason: "no I am- but-"
Charli: "what?!"

Of course he's married?! He's what 40?! Screwing someone in their 20s?! Young enough to be in collage??
I'm just the little slut he found because he was unhappy with his own relationship. I should have known.

Mason: "yeah... I'm so sorry Charli... I should have told you but I didn't think it was important because we're getting a divorce anyway"

Oh... well I guess that's a little better...

Mason: "I haven't told her yet though"

what??

Charli: "please say you aren't getting a divorce because of me."

He wiped the leftover tears from my face

Im not committed enough for that. Most of my real relationships end in like a month the most

Mason: "I love you. I'd do anything for you."

I shook my head