Love affair | Chacha

I'm not okay

~Chapter 183~
                      I'm not okay

Charlis POV:
does it seem like I'm okay?? no. I am not okay. I haven't been for a while now. I shouldn't be like this... I have everything... I'm rich... why can't I just be happy? maybe I don't deserve happiness but I want it. I'm always so close but something always gets in the way...

Fernando: "oh. I'm sorry about that"

No, he isn't. He just wants a chance with me. if anything he is happy that Chase doesn't love me. He doesn't care.

Fernando: "I told the vet to call me if anything happened with the dog-"

seriously?? Why. He is my dog. Not his.

Charli: "so you could rush over the second things got bad to comfort me? So I'd run right into your arms? well, guess what Fernando. Nothing you say or do will make me feel better."

I don't understand why he can't just leave me alone.

Fernando: "no... I didn't do it because I wanted to make a move on you. I did it because you are alone, everybody needs someone"

I'm not alone...

Charli: "I am not all alone. I have my dog... who is dying"

he hugged me and I didn't do anything about it

Fernando: "I'm sure he will be okay"

I really hope that's true...

He walked inside and sat down on the table

Charli: "Can you wait here with me until he comes home..."
Fernando: "what makes you think he will be..."

I don't know.

Charli: "I thought maybe since today is our 2 year anniversary he might come home a bit earlier..."

I doubt it.

Fernando: "oh."

He doesn't think he is coming... and if I'm being honest neither do i. But i need hope. without it whats even the point of this relationship

what is the point in this relationship?

Fernando: "yeah I will stay until he shows up"

I smiled.

Why do I want Fernando to stay? the short answer is I don't.
But I feel so worthless when I'm standing around alone waiting for him to come home just for those 2 seconds I get from him when he walks through the door, the 2 seconds where he smiles at me. after he realizes he's smiling at me he stops and completely ignores me the rest of the night, maybe he says 1 or 2 words to me but that's it.

Today I know it's gonna feel the worst. just knowing that he forgot our anniversary is painful. but what's more painful than that is him knowing but not caring. I really just hope he forgot. Because if he really doesn't care about this then I don't know if I'm ever getting him back.

Charli: "okay thanks..."

Why did I say I pick Fernando of all people

Fernando: "I still remember our first time"
He smiled-

What the hell?? Why is he talking about this right now- our first time was in a closet?? Why is he acting like this is cute-

Charli: "I do too, it was... very memorable"

Considering it was horrible

Fernando: "sure was"

He is weird.