Betrayed by Your Guns & Betrayed by your Crϋe (A Steven Adler/Nikki Sixx story)

Chapter 8: Sixx Moves (Nikki Sixx)

Today is the day, fucking finally! That we, as in Steven and I are leaving rehab. We're just gathering his stuff, as mine has been ready to go. Steven stops still....and I hear the unmistakable sound of tears.

"Steven, man are you ok?" I ask hesitantly, almost desperately. Steven turns to me, blue eyes darkened with tears....

"N-Nikki, it's just that.... i mean look, I have a lot of stuff everything I need material wise in my life, a new band that respects me, that listens and most of all.... I've had you right there with me. This still doesn't feel totally real to me, I'm not used...not used to  yet i mean of having people care or take care of me." Steven shakily wipes away his tears.

"Steven...." Here I bring him into a hug, and he clings to me. "Steven, I know it doesn't feel like it's real or you deserve it. But you do deserve it, and it is REAL. You spent FAR to fucking long being told you didn't deserve to be taken care of, that they didn't take care of you.... you didn't deserve that, you don't...I can understand what that's like, now and always you'll always be taken care of. I will always be right here with you; I have your back...I don't say such a thing lightly." Steven finally starts to calm down, and reluctantly we part and chat some more while we finish getting all his stuff packed and head for home...our home.

Upon arrival, we enter the foyer...our footsteps echoing...and I ask....

"So, what do you wanna do first?"

Steven looks touched that I asked but responds with, "God I am eager to see my drums...but um, first I'd love to get unpacked and settled in my room....and then maybe tour the house?"

"Sure, you can do that...we can do that. I'll help you unpack and oh! Lead you to your room." Bags are gathered once more and we haul them upstairs in one go, I drop mine in my room where Steven insists on helping me unpack first, sorting all my clean and dirty shit and with that done we head to a room at the end of the hall, me helping carry some of his bags, "I hope you like this room, it has it's own bathroom...so like a suite if you will."

"I already love it, this place...our place, is stunning...what I've been able to see so far." Quietly, somehow Steven manages to open the door and he promptly drops his stuff on the floor, eyes wide. "Wow...I've never, I mean...wow."

"You like it then?" I can't help but be nervous.

"Fucking love it. Thank you so much for EVERYTHING." Steven beams at me, and I quit being so nervous, and together we unpack his stuff, helping him hang up dress-shirts, leather pants, jackets and putting his clothes in drawers and organizing his toiletries in his bathroom, and afterwards Steven flops down on the bed with a comfortable sigh..., "Ah, this mattress is like butter." I smack myself in the forehead.... I didn't get food.... but maybe...Steven would enjoy a shopping trip?

"Nikki? Um...you, ok? You sounded like you slapped yourself hard." Steven sits up and raises an eyebrow.... Huh, didn't even realize that and why am I getting nervous?

"Umm.... yeah, I'm ok." I blurt out lamely, flustered. Breathe Sixx...Breathe. "Oh, actually I realized we don't have any food here and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to the grocery store?"

Steven's reaction is both what I expect and didn't expect, for his eyes go wide....and they light up but there is some underlying emotion on his face, that I register as well not shock, but sadness....there is a trigger, that I think I may've just pulled....talk to me Steven, let me help you and then let me go kick some G'N' R ass!

"Why are you so sad? You look sad...you know you can tell me anything Steven." I go to sit on the bed, as Steven draws his knees up to his chest.

"Nikki...I would love to...but I guess I LOOK sad, because...well, 'they' would humiliate me in stores, and I would be left behind to fix the damages. I KNOW, you wouldn't do me like that...I know you care. It's just certain things, trigger me and I am sorry for that. "Steven drops his head as if in shame.