Betrayed by Your Guns & Betrayed by your Crϋe (A Steven Adler/Nikki Sixx story)

Chapter 68: Feels like Home Part 2 (Nikki Sixx)

I Nikki Sixx am head over heels in love with my newborn baby Frankie, my oldest Rain, and my beloved Blue-eyes: Steven...my husband. I keep staring at him as we fix dinner, this our first evening as a family of four. My life is nothing like I'd EVER thought or wanted, but as it turns out is everything I need. We all continue to talk to one another, until Frankie starts fussing....

"I'll get her." Steven says, gently leaning against me. But before anything else is said or done, we hear Rain say to Frankie...

"Why fussy? Me know fed....an' no poopy an 'pee.... want tension? Oh, smell dewicious food?" Frankie coos, relaxing it seems. "Need teefth...soon you can ave' some!" I try not to laugh at Rain, but regardless its fucking adorable and obvious she loves her little sister dearly. Rain continues to chatter away to Frankie, and they have their own 'conversation' of sorts.

"I was honestly trying not to laugh at her saying 'poopy' and 'pee' and telling Frankie she needs teeth." Steven whispers amused, echoing my previous thoughts perfectly.

"I know but fucking adorable I tell you babe." I whisper back.

At last Steven and I fix dinner and Frankie it seems has fallen asleep, which likely means a long night for Steven and I...then again, given that she takes after Steven and i...like her older sister...she loves sleep. I insist on Steven sitting down with the kids, while I dish up dinner for us.... but he doesn't sit down before I kiss him and kiss him again....

Rain is armed with a bib, which still...she's gonna need a bath and Frankie will likely get her first bath...which I can't wait to take care of both my girls...but in any case, we eat.... practically inhaling our food...the noodles with the chicken and the cucumber salad...but we savor each bite and talk together...I LOVE evenings like this....

"Feeling ok blue-eyes?" I ask my husband concerned especially when I notice he winces.

"I'm just still sore.... but I'll be ok. I am just glad to be home." Steven says quietly.

"I am HAPPY to have you home, our family home..." I state softly around a bite of noodles as I chew then swallow. "I'll take care of cleaning the kitchen and all, you just rest."

"Nik. No.... that's not fair to you. I should be helping you." Steven protests, tearing up.

"Hey...hey.... don't cry babe.... you ARE helping me...you DO. Sides you just gave birth a few days ago, its gonna take time for you to heal, I don't want you to overdo it. You're not putting everything off on me Steven.... i do what I do because I love you, I love taking care of you, our kids." I smooth away his tears with my thumbs.

"You're right." Steven says quietly, deep in thought...and I know that look in his eyes.... a trip...a painful trip into the past. My heart breaks.... but I understand very much so, the trauma he always carries, my own trauma....it hits me.

"Steven? Why don't you...go take a nice long shower...wear your favorite t-shirt of mine and some sweats. I've got the girls...if you need me babe, I'm there...I'm HERE." A gentle hand on his face, I check on Rain who is not making a huge mess, so a win there for sure and Frankie is still sleeping away.

"Are you...sure?" Steven is very hesitant.

"I'm sure babe.... have you eaten enough?"

"Yeah.... but...I need my kisses." At last, a smile and its like the sun shinning thru the rain, as I glad give my husband kisses and carefully, he gets up and gives Rain love and affection, murmuring to her and does the same for Frankie and carefully he makes his way upstairs. I in record time, finish eating...Rain is full, and as I clean the kitchen keeping an eye on both my daughters, Rain asks....

"Daddy?"

I turn from cleaning to face her, "What is it jellybean? Mommy?" Rain gives a solemn little nod.

"Mommy sad?"

"Yes jellybean....part of it is because of mommy having your sister.... but it's also because of mommy's past." Rain nods in understanding.

"Mommies need 'gone-up' time."

"He does.... we all Rain need sometime for ourselves, there's nothing wrong with that. there's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself or others.... some days are harder than others. But some days are not. I have days like that...a lot." I tell her honestly.

"Daddy hurt too?"

I nod sighing, "Yes...mommy and I have both had bad experiences, dealt with the wrong people, got mixed up in things we shouldn't have, treated like trash.... less than human, we make mistakes but own up to them. I hurt because he hurts.... if you were hurt, or your sister...I hurt. Pain will always be a part of me, your mother...but we have you and your sister, EACH other to be there for one another." Steven has taught me among many things, pain may be apart of you, but it doesn't define you, and too has taught me other ways of dealing with that pain, dealing with my emotions period...to open up, to care, to LOVE.

I finish cleaning, and as soon as I do, Frankie starts wailing....I go to pick her up, her cries reduced to fussing.

"What's wrong pumpkin pie?" I know her cries weren't for food; they were for Steven. "You want mommy?" Frankie coos. "Ok sweet girl, but first...you and your sister need bath and daddy is gonna take care of you and Mommy."

I manage to hold both of my daughters, making my way upstairs, to find Steven out of the shower and drying his hair, his back is turned to me...but of course he KNOWS.

"Nikki? Rain...and Frankie."

"Dat us mommy!" Rain pipes up, Steven looks like to my relief he mentally feels better, for he smiles, his eyes soft as he finishes drying.

"The girls need baths....and well Frankie missed you...we all did."

"Well, I missed all of you...and Nikki? THANK YOU...for giving me time." Steven says softly, coming to take Frankie from me, as I hold Rain.

"Always Steven...always."

My husband and I both, get together the girl's bedtime out fits and bath stuff.... i feel tears come to my eyes.... bringing back good memories of bringing home Rain, our babies first milestones....so fucking proud.

Rain and Frankie are bathed, dressed for bed.... clean underwear and diapers....and Frankie decide she's hungry again, so Steven feeds her...Rain and I watching, as Rain leans against me.... this...this...is all magical.

"Fwankie eat a wot." Rain remarks with a little yawn.

"She does, but so do you. "I tease, tickling her. "Some little girl needs sleep."

"But daddy..." Rain protests.

"You heard your father Rain, sleepy time.... now, give me night-night hugs and kissy." Steven is gentle but firm, as he finishes burping Frankie. Rain hugs Steven and gives 'kissy' to him and Frankie before I take her to bed and sing her to sleep.

I come back to my bedroom with my husband, who is telling Frankie all about our house...I join them on the bed, my arms around them both.

"I love your way." Quietly, Steven and I sighing contentedly and then 'awing' at Frankie giving the cutest little yawn.

"I love your way and you." Steven leans against me. God, do I love him! We stay like that for a moment more before Frankie closes her little eyes and Steven and I put her to bed, making sure she's ok before checking on Rain...still sleeping away...clutching her stuffed jellybean, with my arms wrapped around my husband, we linger.... until we are back in our bedroom, and I tell Steven...

"Babe? I am gonna massage you.... take care of you."

"You DO take care of me.... but I'll not say 'no' to a massage from you." And so, it goes with he and I, enjoying one another's company...me taking care of him, him taking care of me...balancing one another.

A lifetime with my blue-eyed angel...my angel.... whose given me things, I once thought I'd never want, have, or deserve....my heart and my soul...I look forward to many more years together, the rest of our lives.

A/N: Part 2 of Frankie's homecoming....and next chapter or the next two will be from present day as Steven and Nikki recount the years 1994-2003, and then after that we will officially be into 2003. So stay tuned!