Betrayed by Your Guns & Betrayed by your Crϋe (A Steven Adler/Nikki Sixx story)

Chapter 42: A little Heartbeat, the most beautiful (Nikki Sixx)

Yesterday I'd spoiled the hell out of my husband, as I tend to do all the time. SO, sue me...but there is nothing I love more than taking care of him and seeing him smile. Last night we'd cuddled on the couch watching old movies for hours or until Steven fell asleep. He gets tired easy, which not gonna lie worries me but otherwise seems relatively ok. But in any case, I'd carefully carried him and our little jellybean upstairs and stripped him down to his t-shirt and maternity boxers if you will and tucked him in. whispering, "I love you." And leaving a note beside the bed where he could see, letting him know I was going to straighten up downstairs...

Which brings us too now:

Me lying in bed beside my husband, who looks.... i mean I can't get over how beautiful he is...he's glowing even in sleep. That wild blond mane, those baby blues that are currently closed, delicate lashes resting against his cheeks.... I could go on. It's mid-morning, closer to lunch than it is breakfast and Steven has a doctor's appointment later this afternoon. I'd wanted him to rest as much as possible, carefully...slowly I lift the blanket then my husband's t-shirt, gazing upon his swollen stomach with wonder.... gently I place my hands on his stomach and Steven doesn't stir, though there looks to be a hint of a smile on his face, like he knows it's me.

I whisper, "Good morning, Jellybean.... Daddy loves you...and mommy so much." Here my voices catch a bit before I continue to whisper, "We get to see you today.... i am so excited. You're getting big already, must be taking after me in that...but I feel you'll take after us both."

Gently I lean in and given the swollen and tender flesh kisses, and I suddenly feel like there are fingers running thru my hair...Steven.... I look up to see him smiling albeit sleepily...

"I heard what you said to our baby Nikki...that was sweet. See perfect daddy and partner."

"I am sorry I woke you up blue eyes...are you feeling, ok?" I ask feeling a little bit guilty, gently rubbing his stomach.

"Don't be sorry, I'm not...and I feel fine. Tired as usual but fine.... now, I need my wake-up kisses!" Steven's enthusiasm is heartwarming and such a turn on and kiss him I shall...I lean in and kiss his lips repeatedly until they are swollen, and the affect I have on him always amazes me, eyes wide after, pleasantly flushed and his eyes lit up. "Wow...like wow." Dazed a bit.

"It's always 'wow'...always will be.... it's always like the first time." Softly, reverently. "I know you must be hungry and by extension so is our jellybean. In the mood for anything in particular?" I ask Steven, who taps a finger against his very kissable lips.

"Well, oooh!! I'd really love my favorite chicken salad wraps! And I would love my fruit salad...and...." Steven is so excited, but he pauses a moment adding, "I really miss cooking here lately.... sorry I haven't done that much lately and leaving you to do everything!" My husband is getting upset and bursts into tears, I pull down his t-shirt and quickly get in bed beside him, taking him in my arms as he sobs.

"Hey...hey.... i know you miss it; you do not need to apologize Steven. You're morning sickness has recently went away and too, you'd been dealing with that, and you tire so easy babe. You're not leaving me to do everything. I love taking care of you, you do so much for me...you always have, and this is least I can do. You, right now ARE the one doing everything...." Here my voice catches as tears slip down my cheeks, "Steven you're carrying our child, the one we've dreamed about and wanted for SO long and I for one, am beyond grateful to be able to wake up next to you every day, have you carried my children. Never forget how much I love you, Steven. Never. Cuz, I won't forget YOU."

"OH NIKKI!!" The way he says my name, says it all to me. Eventually we do get out of bed and head downstairs, where I let Steven fix his cravings, of course making sure he takes it easy as possible, us talking about anything and everything and before long everything is ready and Steven eats with gusto, prompting me to laugh with his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunks, which I seriously find adorable, but its enough for my husband to give me not one, but two middle fingers but there is a slight grin tugging at his lips....

I insist on afterwards, washing the dishes and before I know it, time passes and it's time for Steven's appointment, me practically dragging HIM to the car.... prompting my husband to exclaim with a laugh, "Damn! And I thought I was excited!"

"Just really eager to see our jellybean!" I laugh, then helping my husband into the car and again, it's like I blink, and we are back in an exam room, waiting for the Doctor to come in... we'd already had my husband's weight taken, blood pressure and Steven mentioned his concerns about how easily he gets tired.

Now I am by my husband's side, holding his hand....

"Nik? I'm nervous.... why am I so tired all the time?" Steven is very much worried.

"Baby, I know you are nervous....and remember the doctor said that it was normal, every pregnancy is different, and our baby is already likely to be tall. But I PROMISE you, you will be ok and so will jellybean." I reassure my husband who rewards me with one of his amazing smiles, which are like pure sunshine. I kiss him of course, taking my time and reluctantly part from him when knocks sound at the door and the doctor comes In and the exam gets underway, the ultra-sound gel applied and my husband and I eagerly watch the monitor and soon, we see a small but bigger than it was image of our baby...our precious little baby.

"Here we are! Everything looks just as it is supposed to.... now, it was mentioned Steven you have concerns about how tired you are?" The doctor addresses my husband.

"Yeah...I mean I know that's normal, but I mean.... it's not my fault, right?" Steven says quietly. Gently I squeeze his hand as he squeezes back.

"It is certainly not your fault; you are doing everything you are supposed to." The doctor reassures my husband then asks if we want to hear the most beautiful music, or sound in the world.... the heartbeat. WE nod eagerly and tears fill our eyes as my husband and I hear the strong, echoing beat of our baby's heart....

"Nikki! It's the most beautiful music there is! Nothing...nothing comes close to this!" Steven's words echoing my thoughts perfectly. All too soon, the exam is at an end, ultra-sounds photos are made, my husband and I armed with a stack of them, and we are soon back at home sweet home, I get Steven settled first before then taking him in my arms, our hands entwining over his stomach. "You know something Nikki? Jellybean's heart, I swear sounds to me like yours.... strong, perfect..." Steven says quietly.

"And I could argue that HER heart sounds like YOURS.... but all I know...is that our little jellybean has the most beautiful heart PERIOD." I say in the same way. My husband and I continue to feel our baby's heart and each other....

Not too long from now, I would plan the gender reveal for our first child.... i wouldn't know officially that is until the reveal, all I knew is I wanted to make it extra special and go all out, in fact, we did such gender reveals with all our children....

But after this day, during Steven's 3rd month...the next day we'd have a family get together.

If you are wondering about Guns, during this time...My husband and I had finally gotten to the point where we largely ignored it, UNLESS it went way out of line which it would go on to happen a few years from now in the form of Guns album: 'The Spaghetti Incident'.

A/N: Sweet romantic moments, and at the end...the foreshadowing...oh, I can't wait to write those parts!!