That moment when I held my first child. My first daughter: My Rain in my arms.... the things I felt in that moment, are still hard to describe to this day. A mixture of emotions ranging from pride to love, but most mostly love. It all went back to my shitty well beyond shitty past, hating kids, not wanting them due to the abuse I endured....and then came Steven, that day in rehab changed all that forever. The both of us never thought we could have it all, but we did...and we DO to this day....
I carefully take my daughter Rain my precious little Jellybean from my exhausted husband...who'd had a rough labor, hair sticking out in a million directions but has never looked more beautiful.... she is in my arms now, and I am LOST in the best of ways.
"I can't believe that I had a hand in creating her, something so pure...so beautiful. She's so small." I murmur, Rain's paying rapt attention to me....so very heart warming.
"I know just how you feel babe, talk to her.... i can tell she loves the sound of your voice; I know I do." An exhausted Steven says softly, I carefully lean over and kiss him before speaking to my little jellybean.
"Rain.... it's daddy. Wow daddy.... words I never in a million years thought I'd say or want to say. Your amazing mother changed all that, changed my world forever. I wouldn't trade my life now for anything." I gently run a finger along her little face, her reaching for my finger with her tiny, tiny hand feeling so very warm. "I promise you I will be the father I never had, you will have the best childhood, the best life...my hopes for you jellybean are to find happiness, love, to grow to be strong and loving, for all your dreams to come true. I love you my darling little girl." I am crying, and so is my husband I can tell.
"Nikki?" Being mindful of the precious little bundle in my arms look at my husband. "You already ARE an amazing father; an amazing husband never ever doubt that.... those were beautiful words my love." Steven's exhausted blues sparkle.
"I mean every single one." I whisper and speak to my little girl my husband watching the scene fondly. "Did I tell you sweetheart? That we have the most stellar family, Mick and Ozzy and your cousins Liza and Robby, Zak, and Vince. Remember Vince loves pink, so you'll get all the pink stuff from him and then some. But truly my little bean, we are a family...mommy made us a family and now, you, me and mommy are a family." Rain gives the most adorable little yawn; she's getting sleepy I do believe. I decide to start singing to her 'Without You' being the song, and to my delight Steven sings with me and our daughter falls asleep in my arms. "She looks so adorable even in sleep." I murmur.
"She gets that from both of us." Steven yawns.
"Get some sleep, you've more than earned it."
"But...Nikki, you're exhausted too." That's my Steven, very much worried about me, looking out for me as always, though he's spent 14 hours in labor and in pain and is very much exhausted.
"Steven I'll be fine." Firmly but gently. "I'll put her in her bassinet, have it close...and be close to you."
"Ok babe...I need my kisses." Steven murmurs sleepily, I smile and carefully with Rain in my arms still sleeping away I kiss him, and he drops off to sleep. I put Rain in her little bassinet, with her baby blanket making sure she's ok, I stand there for a bit unable to tear myself away. I place her near Steven and near me, and I check on her one last time moving the cot in the room closer to my greatest loves and finally laying down, joining my family in sleep.
I find myself waking up a few hours later, still tired though obviously I know Steven is still MUCH more tired than me. I get out of the cot and check on Rain, still sleeping away who stirs restlessly. And the next thing I know, begins to wail and loudly.... Which wakes an exhausted Steven up who exclaims groggily...
"Nikki? She, ok?"
"Probably needs to be fed again and I'm gonna check her diaper. You relax for a moment babe." I immediately calm my daughter who fusses. "Shh...daddies got ya...." I pick her up and smell...OH. "Um babe she shit."
Steven chuckles, "Would you like a gas mask?"
"Maybe. "I quip, before adding. "I've done worse." Shrugging I lay her back down, gathering the diaper supplies I need, cooing at Rain who quits fussing as I change and clean her, putting her in the most adorable little onesie: A Dr. Feel Good onesie to be exact....so sue me, fuck it I think its cute! "Their jellybean...all better.... now let's get momma to feed you, ok?" I hold her carefully in my arms. Rain practically squeals at the prospect of being fed, as Steven without being asked has his gown pulled down as I help position and hold a very eager Rain as she immediately latches on and feeds from my husband's milk very greedily.
"Damn...she's gonna drain me dry at this rate." Steven quips quietly.
"So greedy" I laugh. "Just like her parents...we eat like horses." Yep, I am highly amused.
"That we do." Steven agrees, finally it seems Rain is done on one side, so she gets switched to the other side, feeding before finally she gets full and Steven burps her, making me laugh at the mega baby sized burp she lets out, which could put an adult to shame really. Soon Rain is settled into my husband's arms, me sitting on the bed, MY arms around my family.
"God, that was SO funny. Her burping like that." Still highly amused and proud too.
"It was, you're right." Steven agrees, "When were the guys coming?"
"Oh! They wanted to give us a day or so to bond with Rain, so they'll be by tomorrow or something sometime, so soon I guess.... aaaand, Zak says he and Vin have news."
"Oooh, do tell!" Steven exclaims eagerly, I think even our daughter is leaning in to listen better.
"He didn't say.... but..." Steven and I both exclaim at the same time. "He's pregnant!"
"Oh, I was wondering if that would be it! I bet we are right! OR rather Liza was right, another prediction coming true from our favorite little niece/psychic." Steven grins.
"She must get that from Mick!" I chortle.
"Part Alien...Part Ozzy....it seems to be a winning combination!" Steven grins once more before we both resume admiring our daughter. "Look at her Nik, hanging on to our every word. I swear she looks at us like we're her heroes. I've never been anyone's hero until you and now her." Steven sniffles, as do I. I know just what he means.
"I could say the same.... truer words have never been spoken. She's a little angel just like her mother." I smooth back Rain's wild blond hair.
"You my love are partial." Steven says softly.
"Can you blame me?" I echo in the same tone.
"Hell no." Steven says. I laugh quietly as I bask in the love of my family, feeling happy, whole, and utterly content and in love.
A/N: Nikki bonding with his daughter, family moments and some humor. Next chapter, we shall see if indeed Vince is pregnant like Nikki and Steven suspect. Stay tuned!
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Betrayed by Your Guns & Betrayed by your Crϋe (A Steven Adler/Nikki Sixx story)
RomanceSummary: What if what you thought you knew about Guns 'n' Roses and Motley Crϋe Changed, that the story was different? What if Steven Adler is lied to or Coerced into Rehab and is fired from his band and ends up becoming the drummer for Motley Crϋe...
