As I have said.... learning everything on that one rainy day, and something mom had literally had never told dad, save for this day...but too in addition to the pain, the sorrow...the sheer trauma.... we learned about the good times.... how two lost and lonely souls completed each other and fell in love....
The Rain outside continues to fall ever harder, and I hear the rumble of thunder.... reminding me of Mom thundering away.... but the tears drown out everything else, at my sister's beautiful words....
"Remind me...again...how the hell did we get so lucky Nikki?" Mom asks Dad.
Before Dad can answer, I do...
"Because you two out of anyone, deserve it.... never tell yourselves you don't."
My parents look at me with a mixture of pride and love.... they look at Frankie and Drew....and their gazes.... Moms in particular clouds again in sorrow, Mom takes a deep breath...
"Before we get more into it.... Nikki? I need you to promise me something.... you're not going to like it.... trust me......" Mom stammers fearfully, Dad freezes a moment.
"I will promise you ANYTHING...I'd never leave you...you're scaring me...I oh god...is this why you're scared so bad of having the triplets?"
"Yes....do you remember the day of that picture?" Mom starts slowly....and I am NOT liking where this is going. Dad nods, holding mom tighter...but not so tight as to hurt him and the babies. "Well.... i was...gang-banged that night...punishment or something.... but I was extra sad and sensitive...." Mom exhales raggedly, reaching a trembling hand to his rounded stomach. "Because.... I'd lost.... the previous month.... twins, its w-was...my...my fault!! I didn't know...I didn't know! I didn't.... i never.... i...I nearly died.... b-because of blood loss, it wasn't the drugs.... the doctor's told me...cold fucking comfort...I was too underweight. Axl....it, they ......no one's ever known till now.... i hope to God, you can forgive me Nikki...." Stunned and oppressive silence fills the room for a moment, the sorrow threatening to pull us under. Dad I can tell is torn between hunting down Axl Rose and comforting Mom...
"Is that...why.... you .... oh Steven...Steven.... I KNEW something was scaring you...more so than the illness with the triplets...there is NOTHING to forgive, you didn't tell me...because God...I can't IMAGINE. You had your reasons baby...NOTHING WAS your fault! Nothing.... that won't happen this time.... this DOES explain Axl's comments that day of that picture.... something I tell you, I hadn't before now.... i fucking decked him, I think.... he didn't remember, neither did I.... i had dreams about it." Gently Dad rocks mom back and forth, humming a familiar song....'Here Comes the Sun.' "Are you sure you wanna keep going Steven? I don't want...you to..." Dad states anxiously.
"Nikki, I'll be ok...I have a feeling...trust me." Mom says seriously. Meanwhile, we all 'kid pile' our mother, both our parents...as if to assure ourselves they won't disappear. Mom opts for a break, which includes more toast and peach Jam and tea, getting sick before he can eat them, dad looking petrified, but relieved after a while when color returns to Mom's face...still the rain falls and Mom continues desperate, "Now you all know...I never told your father, anyone...because it's been too painful. I carry ENOUGH trauma....and that leads me back to the beginning my beginning....see, I was like your father...unwanted child, parents that hit me, or stood by and watched, he had his Nona....his grandpa...I had NO ONE, no relatives.....i was raped by my drunk uncle as a child, beaten daily...but I had my drums, I had my violin....those were my only escapes.....but then, at the age of 14....i was kicked out of my house, out on the street....and I did what I had to, to survive, I stole....sold drugs...DID drugs, NOTHING numbed my pain. By some 'miracle' I made it to LA eventually, running drugs...then with a fake ID getting a job at a liquor store. Then comes 1985....17 years old, lonely...desperate to make my dreams come true, friends a family.... a band. I put out an ad and my former band members answered my call.... we had chemistry, we made Mӧtley look like saints practically. Nothing got better...NOTHING, Axl got his claws into me....and then.... I was betrayed. And I thought that's what love was...I was so wrong...so wrong." Mom is spent, and can no longer keep his eyes open, but he wants to be with us....so Dad kisses him, like he hasn't kissed him in years.... carefully covering mom with his favorite blanket, with in eyesight of us and Mom sleeps....
YOU ARE READING
Betrayed by Your Guns & Betrayed by your Crϋe (A Steven Adler/Nikki Sixx story)
RomanceSummary: What if what you thought you knew about Guns 'n' Roses and Motley Crϋe Changed, that the story was different? What if Steven Adler is lied to or Coerced into Rehab and is fired from his band and ends up becoming the drummer for Motley Crϋe...
