During the fifth month of my pregnancy with my first daughter: Rain.... had finally found out VIA MTV that Axl and Tommy Lee had apparently had a boy and I'd no clue. When asked what I'd thought in an interview I simply said, "I am happy for them and congratulate them." I WAS genuinely happy; I wasn't bitter or so I told myself until it came out that my genuine well wishes were met with stony silence and scorn.... thank God, I had Nikki by my side and have him by my side still.... Now, on to more pleasant matters...such as My Rain's nursery....
It's hard to believe I am now Five months pregnant, I just...I can't get over it or quit touching my belly, my daughter moving at my touch...it's amazing. Currently, I am in our practice studio and have just finished on my drums, my daughter had kicked me as if in time with the music...now, she's moving gently, I place my hands on my belly and feel her gentle kicks.
"Aw, you're so happy! That makes mommy feel good and daddy too. Daddy is up to something.... he won't tell me what but knowing him it's something WONDERFUL just like he is. I can't wait to see you Rain."
I get a sudden craving for something both salty and sweet, ah yes!! I'd made chocolate covered pretzels and they are fresh, perfect! Before I can even begin to get up, I hear---
"Hey babe." I smile, as my husband enters the room and sits next to me, kissing me as he does so, before giving our daughter affection too. "I love seeing you be so happy babe." Nikki is in awe.
"I AM happy...Rain was kicking me all the time while I was playing but doing so in time with the music. Telling you, she'll be a musician for sure! I mean she has us as parents!" I laugh before adding, "Really craving those chocolate covered pretzels I'd made, their fresh." I begin to salivate and Nikki chuckles, but his eyes are soft.
"I'll get you set up on the couch and bring those to you blue-eyes."
Nikki helps me up carefully, treating me like the most precious thing because I know that's how he SEES me, and before long I am propped up on the couch and my husband gives me my cravings and I sigh in bliss as I eat.
"Did I ever tell you how amazing you are?" I tell my husband in between bites.
Nikki smirks, "Mmm...yes...more like you SCREAMED it." Teasing me, well two can play at this.
"And that my dearest husband is HOW we are having a baby!" I quip. This is what I love about us, the teasing and ribbing...a perfect balance of humor and heart and fire in our relationship.
"Touché my love, Touché...." Nikki trails off and then his look turns soft, "I've got something to show you, when you're ready to see it." Nikki looks nervous, I have finished my cravings and cradle his face in my hands.
"I am sure whatever it is...I will love it...don't be so nervous my love."
Nikki leans more into my touch, "You.... you're WAY." I get my husband's meaning loud and clear and am deeply touched. I declare I need my kisses, Nikki happily obliging before showing our daughter housed in my stomach affection...he loves her so much already...he has long before she was conceived...I demand, feeling sassy to see this surprise, my husband merely laughs and helps me off the couch, being so tender with me...it makes me cry.
As we walk up the stairs, Nikki gets more excited and when we get close to what he wants to show me...
"Close your eyes Steven.... I've got you." I pout playfully but do as he say, feeling myself being lead along before coming to a stop, I hear a door opened and being led into a room I assume and then I hear. "Open those blue eyes..."
I open my eyes and gasp, tears spilling down my cheeks, "Wow.... wow.... just...Nikki...our daughter's nursery...it's BEAUTIFUL." I feel an arm slide around my waist, a gentle hand resting on my stomach, and I lean into my husband's touch as I observe the stunning nursery. A chaise lounge, comfy rocking chairs, a crib fit for a little rock & Roll princess, a bassinet.... shades of blue and green, splashes of purple.... but the walls, on the walls are murals and it's like a timeline of Nikki and I, our love story. I am touched down to the depths of my soul....
"I wanted to really do something special.... using colors that matched our eyes, and... the murals, I wanted to honor our love...so that our daughter would look at these walls and know, we are always with her...always will be." Nikki is crying and so am I. I turn in his hold needing to feel him, he rests his forehead against mine. "And to see and feel how much we love each other. God...I've wanted this since; I believe that day you'd found Liza in the studio, and I didn't realize it then my feelings fully I mean and now...now look at where we are."
I Swear I only fall more in love with my husband, every passing moment...and I feel Rain kick me, making me smile and get my husband's attention by placing his hands on my baby bump and I can tell his breathe hitches as I say---
"Feel this...Feel it Nik.... SHE CAN feel how much we love each other and her and now...now she'll see it. Soon she will be in our arms...and everything I've EVER been thru...we've ever been thru apart and together...I am telling you babe; I'd do it over and fucking over only for you...to get to where we are now."
I feel those hands that I love so well reluctantly leave my stomach and tilt my face up, the emotions I see swirling in the depths of Nikki's eyes...and feeling them...it's the most amazing feeling...he brings me into a sweet kiss, lasting both the sweetest of eternities and not long enough.
"I love you Steven Adler-Sixx...." and here he gets on his knees speaking to our daughter. "And I love you my little jellybean...love you so much." We stay like this for some moments before Nikki sits me down in one of the comfy chairs, him sitting beside me.
"I love you Nik...more than you'll ever know...you are already an amazing father...you're fucking stellar as a partner, as a husband...I just fall in love with you more every passing moment..." I say quietly.
"I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I could say the same thing about you." Nikki says in the same tone. I wind up dozing off and the next thing I know, I wake up in our bedroom.... Nikki sketching away...making me melt.
"Babe?" Softly, and my husband beams as he notices I'm awake.
"I'm here...you conked out in the nursery...so I carried you in here...you needed the rest.... and...lemme show you what I've been sketching." Nikki gets up from the lounge sketch book in hand as he joins me on the bed, burrowing into me as best he can and shows me....ME... asleep, my hands on my stomach....and I feel such love...such devotion...such AWE.
"God...you are talented! I love it!" I declare as Nikki sets the sketch aside, and our hands join over my swollen stomach, Rain moving gently.
"Baby I'm amazed.... I really need ya." Softly he sings a line form Paul Lennon-McCartneys song. Truer words have never been spoken......
A/N: The nursery of Rain Iris Sixx revealed, a wee bit of guns related news and sweet moments...more to come soon!
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Betrayed by Your Guns & Betrayed by your Crϋe (A Steven Adler/Nikki Sixx story)
RomanceSummary: What if what you thought you knew about Guns 'n' Roses and Motley Crϋe Changed, that the story was different? What if Steven Adler is lied to or Coerced into Rehab and is fired from his band and ends up becoming the drummer for Motley Crϋe...
