Chapter LX. Eternity beyond forever

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August 5, 11:00 a.m. year 853

"Hanje, do you even know where we're flying?" Onyankopon asked as he finally stabilized the plane after much effort. Hanje frowned in annoyance and turned to Levi who just shook his head. The cabin fell silent as Levi made his way to the back of the plane where Theia sat. In the dark, staring blankly ahead, as if she were watching something so far away that even he couldn't see it. He knelt in front of her and stared into her face, without any emotion.

"Theia," he addressed her gently, but received no response. He reached out to her and wiped the dirt from her cheek with his fingers. Not even a hint, that she was even aware of his presence or touch. She just continued to stare ahead as if she wasn't even in her own body. "Can you hear me? It's me, Levi," he addressed her carefully again and watched with great pain that only the fact that she was breathing and occasionally blinking indicated that she was alive at all.

"How is it possible? She was always so strong," Hanje asked into the silence as everyone stared at the floor. "When did it happen that we didn't notice it?"

"Sebastian was her longtime colleague," Jean pointed out, realizing how glad he was that Sasha's injury was only superficial. Nicolo, who was lying next to her covered by a cloak, was not so lucky.

"She was behaving strangely when we arrived here. I think something broke in her the day she found me injured," Levi stated, not taking his worried look off her face.

"She was normal when we joined you yesterday," Hanje objected, but Harald, who had finished treating Sasha's shoulder, stood up.

"It is a completely normal phenomenon. People with mental illness often have bright moments when their brain registers that's needed. In Theia's case, it was taking care of Levi when she found out he was alive. But her mind has probably completely given up now," he explained the situation so calmly that it made Levi angry.

"Can we do something about it? He finally asked, but Harald looked away.

"There are some sedatives that can calm her down, but there is no treatment to reverse this condition. Her traumas just won't heal or disappear like wounds from a bullet," Levi's look became even sadder. In the end, it doesn't matter how strong you are when your own mind says - enough is enough.

"But we don't have time for that now anyway, we have to focus on Eren!" These words of Mikasa might sound selfish, but in the end, everyone knew very well that she was right. The mental state of the individual wasn't more important like the threat that the entire world faced now. Even if she was the commandant, even if she was the person he loved the most in the world.

"Hanje, you have to lead us," Levi said, to which she widened her eyes.

"Me? I can't do that!"

"You are second in command after all!" He protested in a slightly more irritated voice, feeling like his head was going to explode.

"You should lead us! You know Theia the best! You know how she thought!"

"Look at me! How am I supposed to lead someone into battle in this state?!" He blurted out so loudly that he surprised himself. He exhaled angrily and silence together with hopelessness took over the cabin again. Harald reached into his briefcase and pulled out the syringe he carried in his hands as he knelt in front of Levi. He pulled Theia's hand, into which he injected a syringe with a clear liquid.

"It should keep her calm. With her abilities, she could be dangerous," he explained to Levi as carefully as he could while Levi watched the syringe in Harald's hands, still not wanting to believe what was happening. He very carefully reached under her knee for the weapons she had placed there to pull them out so she couldn't use it against them, hoping it was all just a bad dream. He felt incredible guilt for all it, for everything, for what happened to her. Thanks to his mistakes, he pushed her closer and closer to her limit, to the borders into which she fell. Into darkness and hopelessness, where he will search her very hardly. He can fight titans and humans, he could do anything, but could he fight a mind that suffered so much that it gave up? "Theia, please, say something..." he addressed her, looking into her lost eyes, as if he hoped that only time would be enough for her to deal with the pain from which he couldn't save her again.

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