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It's months after Chay's confession in Kim's studio.
They are cuddling on the sofa. They are alone, and Chay feels a volcano in his stomach. Calling it butterflies would be too big of an understatement.
He wants to say it. He wants to say to Kim that he freaking loves him. So much. Chay thinks Kim is good, Kim is caring, Kim makes him feel safe, Kim is a great tutor, Kim lo... Kim may love him too.
Chay lifts his head from Kim's chest and looks up at him. The Bambi eyes make Kim's heart drop every time. It happened right now again. The moment Chay looked up at him, Kim's world exploded into tiny puzzle pieces, putting together a picture of nothing but the gentle boy in his arms. Nothing else really existed. And that's so fucked up. Because it happens every time. Because Kim doesn't know how to stop it. Because Kim knows what it means. How did Kim go from using this boy for information to feeling unbearable agony just by thinking about the time he'll tell the truth and watch those warm Bambi eyes turn colder than ice, sending Kim to the deepest pits of hell where he undoubtedly belongs?
Love was a foreign language to Kim until his heart decided that it would be the only language it would communicate with Porchay Kittisawat. Kim is watching Chay's lips move. He sees Chay forming those words just before the sound of them reaches his ears.
"I love you, p'Kim."
Kim feels his lips moving. He hears himself forming those words. There's no going back now. He said it. "I love you, Chay."
The twinkle in Chay's eyes seems like a reflection of the entire galaxy. Chay looks beautiful; rosy cheeks, shy smile, Bambi eyes that are looking at Kim as if this is the first time they are truly seeing him. And maybe it is, maybe Kim wasn't fully himself around Chay until he said those words out loud.
"I love you, Porchay," Kim says again just because he can. Because after he shattered down every piece of wall that was holding him back from what he truly wanted all this time, there is nothing to hold him back anymore. "I love you so fucking much," Kim says again and presses a kiss on Chay's forehead. He lets his lips linger there for a while. "I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry."
Chay shakes his head, his smile getting bigger and bigger. He presses himself closer to Kim and focuses on Kim's lips for far too long for Kim to not notice anything.
"Chay..."
"P'Kim, can we kiss now?" Chay asks so bluntly and excited that Kim feels out of place for a second.
"Chay—"
"For some reason, since we are together, you never kissed me on the lips, so I thought that now... after... after we said that we love each other... that maybe..."
Kim can see the excitement leaving Chay's body and sadness creeping in. He doesn't want that. Oh god! Of course, Kim wants to kiss Chay. God dammit, of course, he does. But, first, Chay has to know everything. No more lies. No more pretending.
