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— What if Chay isn't that innocent? What if he isn't that naive? And what if he understands Kim more than Kim can even imagine? Fix-it bar scene edition —
Chay looks right into Kim's eyes the moment they are alone, the sound of the music and mumbles of drunk people fades out in the background when Kim stands close to him. He chuckles, "took you long enough, phi. For a moment, I thought that I would have to take the drug."
Kim's jaw is clenched. His eyes ink dark, but a striking confusion is trying to take over them. Getting even closer to Chay, he simply asks, "what?" His voice low and filled with anger.
"Angry," Chay laughs, "finally, I'm getting an emotion out of you, phi."
"What the fuck is all this circus, Porchay?!" Kim growls.
Chay turns around and leans with his body on the wall, hands crossed on his chest, "tell me, phi... do you think I'm dumb?"
"Porchay—"
"Am I dumb, phi?"
"No," Kim shakes his head, biting his bottom lip.
"Then I have the same question as you do," Chay looks Kim dead in the eye, "what the fuck is all this circus, Kimhan?"
Kim looks startled as if he didn't expect Chay to ever stand up to him, but Chay has had enough! He did his own little investigation since Kim "dumped" him and came to multiple conclusions. One of them—Kim is trying to be a hero when he doesn't have to be, not alone.
"Nothing to say to me, phi?" Chay cocks his eyebrow. "So maybe I should start—do you honestly believe that I'm gonna buy that crap that you tutored me just to find out information about my hia? Why would you be here then if that's the case? Why would you care if I take some stupid drug or not? Why would you get so mad about it? Stop ignoring your own feelings... or at least stop ignoring mine!"
"I'm not ignoring them!" Kim snaps.
"Oh, really?" Chay snaps back. "Then what are you doing? Because you are clearly not acting upon them!"
"You want me to act up them?" With one sharp move, Kim gets so close to Chay that it makes Chay shudder, feeling as their noses briefly touch. But then something in Kim's eyes changes, and with a quiet apology on his lips, he steps away.
Chay was never more terrified in his life but he knows that he has to do it now. Now or this whole thing will crumble even more than it already did. His hand is shaking as he reaches for Kim, and a simple "don't" leaves his lips. Kim looks wrecked when he turns back to look at Chay, and Chay knows that he can't take another "I'm sorry" from Kim, so instead, he makes sure that Kim can't say a word anymore. He can feel his heart violently shaking in his chest, and it gets more and more violent with each second he gets to feel Kim's lips on his own. At first, Chay felt frozen in place when it felt like forever of Kim just standing there, not reacting at all. And then when Chay felt Kim's calloused fingers from all that guitar playing, touching his cheeks, and Kim's lips pressing more on his own, taking his bottom lip and slowly sucking on it... all Chay's nervousness and worries evaporated into a thin air.
And then Kim pulled away. "Fuck!" Kim runs his fingers through his air, and Chay realizes in wonder that Kim's hands are shaking. That must be a good thing, right? That's the only thing Chay has the time to think about before Kim is cupping his cheeks again. This time, Kim is kissing him like he had decided. Like he won't leave again, and Chay badly hopes that's the case because he doesn't think that he has it in him to see Kim walk away again. Not again, please.
This time, when Kim stops kissing him, Kim doesn't step away. Instead, he hugs Chay close to him. And all Chay can think about is how they fit into each other's arms like a puzzle. It's a better feeling than Chay can describe with words. Much better.
"I'm not an easy person to love," Kim mumbles.
"You are to me," Chay replies quietly.
"Feelings... it's hard for me."
Chay smiles into Kim's shoulder, "I kinda noticed that."
"There's danger everywhere around me."
"There's danger everywhere around me as well now."
"I don't think that I'll ever be able to let you go, Chay. If you won't leave now—"
"I'm staying, phi," Chay says loud and clear. A slight panic arises in his chest when he feels Kim moving in their hug, but then Kim is looking right at him, and Chay just knows. He knows that everything is okay.
"I love you, Chay."
Yeah, everything is okay.
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Kim feels naked under Chay's gaze. And Chay isn't even looking at him. No, he is looking at the investigation board in Kim's apartment.
"So, you think your father killed my parents?"
"The more things I dig out, the more it looks like it," Kim replies. He feels as if he is walking on glass shreds and his feet are bleeding. He thinks that any moment Chay will tell him that giving Kim a second chance was a mistake—that he can't be with someone whose father most likely killed his parents.
But instead, Chay smiles softly and says, "is that one of the reasons why you thought that pushing me away was the best option?"
Kim simply nods. He doesn't dare to speak, feeling that one more word can bring him to the edge of breaking down. He doesn't want to break down—not now when he allowed himself to be happy. He can feel Chay's gentle arms around him. It's as if Chay knows. As if he can read Kim so well, he doesn't need words to understand. It fills Kim with so much love that he feels a little dizzy.
"What happened isn't phi's fault," Chay slowly caresses Kim's back. "I want to help."
Surely, Chay doesn't mean that he wants to help with the investigation, right? Kim looks at Chay, confused.
"Let me help, phi," Chay smiles and brings Kim into a kiss.
Kim kisses Chay deeply. The pure knowledge that he can do that now. That he can do that anytime he wants. That it's all real and genuine. No more lies, no more secrets...
