— Kim can't find his wedding ring. He can't find it anywhere! He lost it. Kim hates himself. He hates himself so much! Oh god. How could he do this? This will hurt his angel. He didn't want to hurt his angel again. Never! Never again! —
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Kim had promised. He had promised to never hurt his angel again. He went down on his knees and made an oath to never hurt and only love and protect his husband, his Porchay. And now the very thing that is supposed to be the testimony of it, always there, always with him to reassure him that he isn't dreaming, that this is the life he has now—happy, truly happy, with the person that is his entire world, that thing is gone.
He feels naked without it on his finger. He feels like he is doing something awful by not wearing the ring. He feels like he is hurting Chay.
He doesn't want to make Chay mad. Or worse. Upset. But he has to tell him. Honesty is what is their entire relationship built on now. There's not a thing Kim is hiding from his husband and he won't hide this either. Definitely not this.
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He feels like he is going to crawl out of his own skin. Chay should be home any minute. Maybe it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Maybe it isn't. Maybe Chay will tell him that they will look for it or get a new one. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. But to Kim, it is a big deal. It's a disaster. It's a crime he committed. A sin that will hurt his angel.
The door opens and for the first time in a really long time, Kim dreads a conversation with Chay.
He walks out of their bedroom and goes to stand in the middle of their living room, head ducked he waits for Chay to notice him—like a child that did something bad waiting for a punishment.
Chay notices him just moments later. Of course, he does. They always find each other incredibly fast wherever they are. It's like they have magnets in their hearts, always pulling each other closer.
"Today was shit," Chay groans, and in the corner of his eye, Kim can see Chay's tie falling on the sofa.
He feels awful. Chay had a bad day and now he is about to make it even worse. He still hasn't looked at Chay, and Chay notices that as well. Kim feels the gentle touch of Chay's calloused fingers under his chin just before their eyes meet and Chay speaks softly.
"Hey, love. What's wrong?"
"I love you. I love you so much," Kim says because he has to make sure that Chay knows. That there's no doubt in Chay's beautiful mind that Kim loves him. Not again. Never again. So he says it. And he says it again, "I love you," because once he starts it's hard to stop. And he wants to say it again, but he is stopped by Chay's sweet lips delicately kissing his own, and for a moment Kim forgets that the ring is gone, but then Chay pulls away and that awful feeling returns and he has to say it.
"I love you, too. But something—"
"I've lost my wedding ring," Kim says, his voice cracking at the word lost, but it's out. He said it. He looks into Chay's eyes, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean to, angel. I didn't want to hurt you again. I'm so sorry for hurting you again. It's my fault. My fault! My—"
And Kim could go on forever. He really thinks he could. But then Chay cups his cheeks and says firmly, "Kim... stop!"
And Kim does. Immediately. He doesn't want to upset Chay any more than he already did. Chay's thumb is gently caressing his cheek, and now, when Kim isn't panicking, he sees that Chay's eyes, Chay's pretty eyes, aren't hurt or angry... There's this look in them worried and tender that Chay wears only when he wants to make sure that Kim is okay. It's as if Chay isn't upset at all that Kim lost his wedding ring. But that can't be! Kim lost it. Kim hurt his angel again!
"Did you want to lost the ring, love?" Chay asks, calmly.
"No!" Kim almost spits that word out. "Of course not! It means the world to me."
"Then why are you apologizing so much, hmm?"
"Because..." Kim is confused. He frowns, "because I hurt you. By losing it, I hurt you."
"And who told you that, my love?" Chay softly smiles, "because I didn't."
"I..." Kim doesn't know what to say. He feels like he doesn't know anything right now.
"I'm not mad or upset or whatever," Chay presses a kiss on Kim's cheek. "You lost it? Then we'll look for it together. And if we don't find it then we'll get you a new one. Kim, you aren't the first nor the last person in the world who lost their wedding ring. It's okay. It doesn't mean that you love me less. With or without the ring you are still my husband and I know that you love me as much as I love you. It's okay, love. We are okay." Chay pulls Kim into his arms. "We are okay."
Kim holds Chay like his life depends on it. He is trying to take deep breaths. He is calming down. He didn't hurt Chay. He didn't make his angel upset again. It's okay. They are okay.
"Angel."
"Hmm?" Chay kisses Kim's shoulder and caresses his hair, "what is it, my love?"
"I'm sorry for overreacting," Kim mumbles into the crook of Chay's neck.
"Don't be. You didn't overreact, love," Chay pulls away. "You were afraid that you would hurt me again?"
Kim nods. "You didn't hurt me. Not even a bit, so throw this tragic face away, my dear husband and come with me," Chay grabs Kim's hand and takes him to the kitchen. "I got us pizza because like I said, today was shit!" He immediately looks at Kim and pecks his lips, "not because of you! It just... there was chaos at our clinic."
Kim sits down on a barstool and Chay makes himself comfortable between his legs. Chay takes a slice of pepperoni pizza he bought and feeds Kim the first bite.
Kim's hands are resting on Chay's hips, fingers drawing random shapes on Chay's skin. It's calming for both of them. They eat in silence for a couple of minutes and then Kim asks, "want to tell me more about the chaos?"
"Are you feeling better now," Chay asks in return.
Kim nods, kissing Chay's neck, "enough to listen to my husband rant about his job."
Chay takes another slice of pizza and looks at Kim, "okay, so listen...
... and then like a cherry on top, came a guy with his dog and he was like, if you won't do surgery on my dog right now I'm going to kill you!" Chay rolls his eyes. "So I told him to read my surname again and try to think about who else with this surname he heard about." Chay laughs, "he ran out so fast that a nurse had to run after him with his dog."
Kim frowns, "who was that guy? Do you know his name?"
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It's in the middle of the night when Chay feels something weird under his back and when he reaches for it, he finds the wedding ring. He smiles and puts the ring back on the finger of his sleeping husband.
