Once a ranger always a ranger

Chapter 58 the funeral & the nightmares continue

Kaitlyn helped me calm down. "Are you going to be okay for the rest of the day?" Kaitlyn asked. "I don't know." I said. "Well, I'm going to be around if you need me." Kaitlyn said. "And I know where to find you if I need you." I said. Then she went down to the rec hall. I finished up the eulogy for Tommy. It's going to be hard, I just hope that I can do it. And by that I mean talk about Tommy in front of everyone. The day of the funeral came. Jason was sitting by me. I kinda expected that. He had his arm around me the whole time. The only time he didn't have his arm around me was when I went up in front of everyone to talk about Tommy. When the opportunity of speaking arose I looked at Jason. Jason looked at me. "Are you going to be okay up there by yourself?" Jason asked. I gave a reassuring nod. After Kimberly was done speaking the pastor spoke again. "Now, we're going to hear from Tommy's special friend... Ariel Cornell." The pastor said. I took a deep breath as I stood up. I walked up to where everyone spoke, took out the eulogy that I wrote for him, and started to talk. "Tommy was more than my best friend, he was like a brother to me. He was a great friend to so many people. And he was one of my first friends. I remember when we first met, we were both at the youth center, and I was headed to the juice bar for a drink while I was waiting for my dad to come and pick me up after my gymnastics class. I was texting him when I bumped into him. I must have fallen down when I bumped into him because after I bumped into him he helped me up. And then at school, he made me feel welcome. He saw me as a friend, not just another student at school. We became best friends. He might have tried to destroy me a few times, but when we were caught in a dire situation, he always helped us out. He saved my life too. He saved my life in more ways than one. I can't explain everything that he did, but he gave me a forever, within the numbered days. And for that, I'm eternally grateful. I would like to finish with a quote that I found. It goes like this. The difficulty is not so great to die for your friends... but rather to find friends worth dying for. I'm never gonna forget about him, ever. Because I know, that he's with all of us in spirit." I said. Then I went back over to Jason and sat down. The minute I sat back down Jason put his arm around me. When we got back to the college Jason and I decided to talk for a while in the dorm lounge. "That eulogy was so heartfelt. You were actually making me cry a bit." Jason said. "I know. I really wasn't trying to go for that though." I said. "Yeah, I know." Jason said. He gave me the one arm reach hug. "Listen, a few friends and I are going to the YMCA this weekend. Wanna join us?" Jason asked. "I don't know." I said. "You need to have some time away from the college." Jason said. "I know. But with all the homework, I'm so busy." I said. "Well, it's your choice." Jason said before walking away. I thought that the nightmares would have stopped after the funeral but they didn't because I had another nightmare later that night. The next day I noticed that people were starting to avoid me. I didn't know why everyone started to avoid me but maybe Kaitlyn will know. Later that day after class I went back to my dorm room and laid down on my bed. Kaitlyn somehow noticed that something was bothering me. "What's going on?" Kaitlyn said. "Today wasn't good at all." I said. "Why?" Kaitlyn asked. "Everyone avoided me all day." I said. "You still coming to dinner?" Kaitlyn asked. "No. We have some ramen so I'm probably just going to have that tonight." I said. "Okay, I guess I'll talk to you after dinner and you can give me some more details on how everyone was avoiding you." Kaitlyn said. "Alright." I said. Then Kaitlyn went to the cafeteria to eat dinner. I got a small dish out and put the ramen and some water in the dish and took it to the dorm lounge to warm it up in the microwave. After about a minute and 45 seconds I took it out of the microwave and mixed the chicken seasoning into it. Then I took it back to my room and ate it. I have been doing some emotional eating, I just don't know how much. After dinner Kaitlyn came back and sat down on her bed. I sat down on mine. "Alright, so how was everyone avoiding you?" Kaitlyn asked. "Well, when I'm walking down a hallway with others going in the opposite direction, they just walk right past me without saying anything. With groups of people that are just standing or sitting around and talking, the minute I get there they walk away calling me everything but my name. It's like I can't win anything." I said. "Look, everybody has experienced changes with you, that's probably why they're doing that. They can't handle it. It's their problem, not yours." Kaitlyn said. "Well, if they have a problem with me they shouldn't even be around me. Plus, it's not my fault that I have to cross their path to get somewhere. If I have to get to class or something, then I would have to cross their paths." I said. "I get it." Kaitlyn said. "You don't even know the half of it. It's almost like they're bullying me. I have gotten bullied my whole life." I said. "Seriously?" Kaitlyn said. "Yeah, I got bullied throughout elementary school, middle school, high school, and now, college." I said before lying down. "You know, you had friends who helped you through it." Kaitlyn said. "Well, it would have been harder if I didn't have anyone to help me with that." I said. I'm starting to get tired of everything that is going around, rumors for one thing.

Everyone always need something to talk about. Then there are these people who always need something to complain about. I just don't know how much longer I can go with this. I'm getting more frustrated by the day. The next day I ran into John. "Hey John." I said. "Hey. Listen, there's something I need to tell you. I don't know if this is going to sound like I don't care or..." John said when I cut him off. "Just say it John, I'm too tired to be mad." I said. "Ariel, you've changed, and not in a good way." John said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "You've changed Ariel, you used to be this happy, fun-loving girl. Now you're this depressed, serious girl. What happened to you? Where's that happy, fun-loving girl I once knew?" John asked. I had no idea how to answer that. I have never been asked that before in my life. I didn't know what to say so I just turned around and walked away. "How could he ask that? Especially with what I'm going through right now?" I asked myself. It's like almost everyone turned against me. It's like everyone wants to be my enemy.

Only very few people haven't turned against me, at least not yet. I know that everyone will eventually turn against me, I just hope that it doesn't come to that. Jason is always nearby in case I need him. At first I just thought he wanted to make sure that I was okay, but now I just don't know why he's always around. Is there something he's not telling me? I need some answers. I have been kept in the dark long enough. Jason has to give me the answers I'm looking for. I just hope that he gives me the answers I need and doesn't keep me in the dark.