Jahnnie Drabbles☆

☆Insecurities☆

[ Johnnie is insecure about himself one night and Jake comforts him. ♡ ]

~~~~~~~

Johnnie is just looking at himself in the mirror one night, quietly a heavy sigh left his lips as tears sting his eyes. His depression was starting to eat him alive, and he wasn't sure why. It just came crashing down on him.

Jake walks up behind him, his arms wrapping around Johnnie's shoulders, "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Johnnie felt Jake's much more muscular tattooed arms around him as he got startled when he saw the other male enter the bathroom with him from the reflection.

Jake laughs softly, "I didn't mean to startle you. You just looked like you were deep in thought, and I wanted to check on you."

"I'm fine," Johnnie responded, his voice sounded tired, using his finger to rub his black eyeshadow more, so it's a bit more smudgy as usual.

Jake frowns, "No, you're not. You look like you're about to cry. Talk to me."
Johnnie blinks his tears away, and looks at Jake in the reflection.

Johnnie didn't say anything, he just leaned his head into Jake's chest. Since he's the smaller male.

Jake smiles softly and wraps his arms around him, "There, there." He strokes Johnnie's hair, "It's okay to cry. I'm here for you."

"I'm ugly," Johnnie says, looking back at the mirror. The emo's eyes looked depressed, and Jake can see the depression lingering in Johnnie's blue eyes.

Jake kisses the top of his head, "I don't know what's going on with you, but I know that you're not ugly. You're beautiful, inside and out."

Johnnie turned his head, in a depressive irritation, he says. "Not like you care." as he walks out of the bathroom.

Jake follows him out, "Hey, wait!" He grabs his arm and stops him, "You're right, I don't know what's going on with you, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I do care. A lot. I want to help you."

Johnnie stops his tracts. Tearing up again. He blinks as much of his tears he can away, but they keep coming back.

Jake hugs him tightly, "Please, don't cry. I'm here for you. I'm not going to let you deal with this alone." He pulls away and looks at him, "Now, tell me what's wrong."

Johnnie just stood there, allowing Jake to hug him. "Just saw myself in the reflection and hated it.. not a big deal" he rolls his eyes.

Jake frowns, "It's a big deal if it's bothering you this much. You can't just brush it off like that. What do you hate about yourself?"

"Everything." Johnnie responded, numb. Jake follows him into his room, "Don't shut me out. I'm trying to help you. I'm not going to judge you or anything. I just want to understand."

Johnnie suddenly lashes out in a depressive irritation, "Just leave me alone!" as he goes in his room, slamming his door. He never has yelled at Jake before.

Jake's taken aback by his sudden outburst. He pauses for a moment, trying to process what just happened.

Johnnie was shocked himself, he never shouted at Jake before. And felt too guilty to open the door. Tears rolling down his face.

Jake waits patiently outside the door, hoping that Johnnie will eventually open it. He knows that Johnnie's struggling with his emotions, and he wants to be there for him. After a few minutes, he knocks again, "Please, I just want to help. I'm not mad at you, I promise."

Johnnie heard Jake's voice on the other side, hesitantly he got up and opened his door.

Jake walks into the room, his heart breaking when he sees how upset Johnnie is. He closes the door behind him and sits down next to him on the bed. "Can I ask you something?"

"I'm sorry" Johnnie suddenly apologized, sniffling a bit. Jake puts his arm around him, "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it. But can I ask you a question? I want to understand what's going on with you."

"Mhm" Johnnie hums in response. His head laying on Jake's shoulder. Jake takes a deep breath, "Why do you hate yourself so much? I know that you've been going through a rough time, but I don't think that's the only reason. There must be something else going on."

"I just don't like myself, ok? I don't know.." Johnnie lifts his head, most of his makeup was cried off.

Jake wipes away the remaining tears from his cheeks, "I understand that you're going through a tough time, but I think you're being too hard on yourself. You're a great person, and I don't want you to think otherwise. I'm here for you, no matter what. You don't have to go through this alone."

Johnnie stared up at Jake now. Silently taking in the words Jake just said. Jake gently strokes his hair, "You know, I care about you a lot. I don't want to see you hurting like this. Can I ask you another question?"

"mhm.." Johnnie leaned against the touch. Feeling Jake's hand through his emo black dyed hair.

Jake smiles softly at him, "Why do you wear all this makeup? I mean, I know it's your style, but do you feel like you have to cover up your face to hide who you really are?"

Johnnie shrugs, "It used to be super bad like six years ago, I'm getting a bit more comfortable without it, that's why some of my videos i don't have any makeup on, I'm still very much struggling, but erm.. I guess so"

Jake nods in understanding, "I'm glad that you're starting to feel more comfortable with yourself. I think it's great that you're not hiding behind your makeup all the time. But I also want you to know that you don't have to hide your emotions either. I'm here for you, and I'll listen to anything you want to say."

"Thanks Jake.." Johnnie mutters, laying his head back onto his friend's shoulder. Closing his eyes.

Jake pulls him closer, wrapping his arms around him. He kisses the top of his head and whispers,

"Anytime. Just remember that you're not alone. I'm here for you."

(The end)
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