point of view | A.G

Chapter 91: I lost control.

Ariana

"She is really here?" I asked Courtney for a millionth since she arrived. She nodded her head in response.

"Oh my god I think that I'm going to faint" I squealed, smiling after smiling for the first time in a long. Or to be exactly, the first time I smiled and it's not a fake.

"How is she? Where is she? I wanna see her like right now."

I was still mad in love with her. There wasn't a day she wasn't on my mind. There wasn't a day I didn't cry because she's not here. I was still a wreck. A completely fucking wreck. I love her and she is my soulmate. She's everything I want. I really settled down. I talked to Dalton. He also said that he sees how much I love Shay. Plus he's got a girlfriend now and I'm happy for him. I know that I want her. Only her.

"That's the thing...I wanted to talk to you about something very--important." Courtney uttered with a serious voice.

She didn't want to see me?

"I know that she is still pissed and hurt but I just need to see her" I explained.

"I know Ari, and you can see her. It's just...a few things-how should I say that-a few things changed." my eyebrows furrowed at her response.

"She isn't sick or something, before you think that. It's just...she's..."

"-Shit, just say it already" I cut her off.

"She has a girlfriend Ariana"

My blood froze. Taking breaths was getting heavier and heavier. A rush of emotions hit me all at once. There's a heavy wave of sadness that washes over me. It feels like a sharp pang in my chest, a reminder of what I once had. Memories flooded my mind—moments of laughter, intimacy, and shared dreams that now feel distant and out of reach.

"S-She has what?" I asked making sure I heard it right.

"Ariana I'm sorry" Courtney said placing her hand on my thigh.

"Could you please go?" I begged her and stood up.

I felt the tears coming I needed to be alone right now.

"Ari I-" I immediately cut her off.

"-Please go!" I yelled at her pointing at the door.

She simply nodded and took her stuff before she finally left.

That's when it hit me. The tears I cried cut my cheeks like sharp knives. A scream slipped my throat. I started to throw stuff. First my glass bottle, then my plates. I screamed like there was no tomorrow.

She moved on? She really moved on?

Alongside the sadness, there's a simmering anger that rose. I felt betrayed. Why did she move on? These thoughts swirl in my head, wondering if our love wasn't as meaningful or if I was simply replaced.

What if the new girlfriend is everything I wasn't? What if they're happier together? It made me feel vulnerable and exposed.

I felt like a baby. I couldn't do anything about it. My ears cut deep but there's no pain I felt. For the past four months, my whole body got used to feel like shit. But this? This broke me completely. It made me feel useless. I wanted to fight for her. Show her much I loved her. How much she meant to me. I sent hundred of messages every day. She didn't receive a single one of them.

It was all my fault. I couldn't get committed to her. I would always fuck up. I always thought that I loved Dalton. Even though Shay was everything I wished for. Everything I needed to be happy. She gave me her everything. I decided to fuck it up. I decided to break her. I broke her. I broke her heart.