point of view | A.G

Chapter 72: My soul is burning.

Shay

-2 days later-

Before I wanted to get somewhere else, I drove back to Arianas place since I forgot some things. I really hoped that she wasn't home because I really didn't want to handle her right now.

I ran upstairs searching for some portfolios which I need for my work as a model. Like it was meant to be, I heard quit footsteps behind me.

„H-Hey" her soft voice appeared behind me.

„Hey, sorry for just getting in but—I just need to get something, then I'll be out anyways."I replied and she sighed.

„Can we maybe talk?"
„Ariana look-I'm really not in the mood for talki-"
„-I believe you! I know. But I wanna know where we're staying." she cut me off causing me to turn to her.

„Shay I love you—and I can't imagine a life without you anymore. You're my fiancée and hopefully my wife—d-don't let this stupid thing come between us I beg you."

„Maybe for you this is stupid—but do you know how it is to be an option? Or at least to feel like an option? To have anxiety of not being enough or good for someone?" I raised my voice a bit crossing my arms.

„Since you gave me your word of never going behind my back, I always trusted you. I never doubted I swear—but Ariana—this is just so much right now—I don't know what to think no more."

„I know and I'm so sorry but I didn't cheat on you. I didn't have anything with Dalton, and I don't love him!"

„Oh really? Is this true or are you just trying to convince yourself that you don't have any feelings left for him? Because if you wouldn't love him, you wouldn't have even picked up the damn phone when he called you!" I yelled as tears threatened to flow down my cheek.

Silence.

She's not saying anything. So was I right?

„Was I right?" I questioned but Ariana didn't even look at me.

„Ariana look at me was I right?" I asked again and that's when she looked up at me.
„I-I-d-don't know" she stuttered out teardrops falling onto the ground.

I felt how my heart sting as the words were constantly replying in my head.

„Well-looks like I got played—again. I'm done with you Ariana." I said as I took my things in my hand and my bag over the shoulder.

„We're done" I said another time but this time more to myself.

„Shay please-I-I didn't-I love y-"
„-Oh really? Because if that's love, then I don't wanna experience hate. Fuck you Ariana." I yelled running downstairs her following me close.

„D-Does this mean you're brea-"
„-Yes. Delete everything we had, throw the ring away do what you want but you and me will never be anything." the way she looked at me was hurting so much but I couldn't just say nothing.

My soul was burning if I'd stay any minute with her. It just hurt so much knowing that she might have feelings for him. Or no-she has feelings for him. I know that. She wouldn't hesitate if she'd be sure about her feelings.

„Shay please" she cried out holding my wrist as I wanted to open the door.
„Don't touch me"

„Please baby don't leave me, I swear-"
„-Ariana if you really love me, let me go, forget me and move on because that's exactly what I will do. Don't worry I won't tell the press, again. I will shut my mouth and just say that it didn't get well and that's it, okay? Just leave me in peace."