The Unusual Suspects Book 2

Iris

l was sitting here really not even knowing what to say for the first time in my life. This shit just wasn't making sense and I couldn't make it.                                                                                                        "Girl...did you hear me? You've been sitting there looking perplexed for a whole minute." Toya said to me and I really just had to take a deep breath.                                                                                    "Toy...listen, I love you but you have some shit you need to figure out. Somehow you're making yourself a victim in a situation that you created and I'm not comprehending." She set her little glass down and looked over at me and you could tell she was shocked.                                                    "What do you mean? I literally just sat here and expla..."                                                                                   "Girl I heard you for the past 3 hours now and to be honest, I haven't agreed with you at any moment." She just closed her mouth and sat back. "This might be hard for you to hear, but as a friend, I need to make sure you realize reality. So...as far as Tony goes, you got curious and wanted to explore so you asked for y'all to be open. But I guess you assumed that open only applied to you. I'm sorry, did you see Anthony? That boy is attractive, protective, on the right path, and has a good head on his shoulders. Surely you knew someone else could feel the same way about him as you do. There's no way that you could've doubted that." I said to her.                    "I'm aware that Anthony is all of those things. I'm not blind, but at the same time, if he loves me like he says he do, how is he so comfortable with her? Like he's everywhere with her." she said.    "And Dox out here writing songs about you. You bonded that man out of jail. You had your dad get that case thrown out. You slept with him before we even all went out on tour. Like girl...Tony was just supposed to know you getting dicked down and wait? How does that even sound? Girl if that would've been Dom with those expectations, you would be in my shoes right now telling her about herself. But here we are. And while we're at it, you still can't even make sense out of what your actual beef is with her. Girl don't think I didn't see that exchange at my photoshoot. As much as y'all tried to play it off, I saw when Dom walked away from you and then stayed in that area until I walked over. So...I mean make it make sense. The girl doesn't want Tony and didn't do anything to you, so what is it?" I asked her and she took a sip from her drink.                     "I don't have an issue with Domonique, in all actuality." she said eerily.                                               "Toya...please. Spare me, I peep the side-eyes, the eye rolls, and then tension. That girl made sure she made it to the hospital after celebrating her boyfriend's birthday to make sure she was there for your labor. All of this after she lost her whole baby. A person like that could never be on my bad side. When they looked outside of themselves and focused on me when I knew they could've been selfish. But then again...maybe that's just me." I said as I just sat back.                           "So basically I'm a horrible person?" she said to me.                                                                                           "Nope! You're not a horrible person, you're just displaying narcissistic behavior." Her eyes got big as golf balls. Your lack of empathy and constant need for admiration shows me that you're a narcissist. It's like you can't possibly move through life believing everything is about you or  you're only concern is how it effects you. Then it's like if a person isn't bowing at your feet or praising you, then they're not in alignment with your life and they become the problem. The problem is that thing between your two ears because you really allowed yourself to believe that you're not the issue." I said without any inflection to keep it cool. After an intense stare off she began to chuckle a little bit before it turned into tears.                                                                                         "You're right." she said as downed the rest of her glass. "But you know what...I get it honest. I guess I'm more like my mother than I ever realized for real." she said with a weird chuckle.           "That's all you have to say for yourself? Because that sounds more and more like a cop out to me. You blame your antics on hers, but you literally said that she wasn't a present parent. So it's a choice. Listen, you can't get to the point where you disguise your true self to the world so much that you become disguised even to your own self. It's one thing if you can't admit your issues to me, or D, or even Tony, but to not know what to tell yourself is crazy work. There's no bad blood between us, but I think you need to take some time and figure yourself out. And do whatever makes sense to you. If that means going off the grid, isolating yourself, being with Dox, being with Tony, spending time with your dad, or going to counseling...just take some time and figure your shit out. It's not fair to AJ to get a lesser version of you. Maybe you're going through post-partum...I refuse to believe this is really you because you were really sweet when I first met you and that's the person I bonded with. I can't say I know personally what it's like to go through childbirth, let alone at a young age, but I know it's a lot of pressure. Remember though Toy: Pressure busts pipes, but pressure also create diamonds. You decide. are you pipe or a diamond." I said as I grabbed my bag and headed for the door. I know I'm not even close to having my shit together, but I'm also not delusional of that fact and I don't carry myself like that. Toya was my bitch at the end of the day, but what type of real friend would I be if I didn't call her out on that shit? Couldn't be Iris!