My Awesome Book Of Randomness & Complete Craziness 1

Cats vs Dogs

Okay, so I am more of a cat person than a dog person. Well, either that or I just like my cat over our dog. She sometimes acts very stupid, but then again sometimes my cat does. But he doesn't get into trash like the dog. But he doesn't learn tricks as quickly as or dog does.

(Btw, our dog is a female red long-haired dapple dachshund named Jewel. My cat (well, kitten. He's 9 months old and bigger than my last cat, a three-year-old female!) is a Maine Coon mix and his name is Lyncoln, Lynx for short. Which is why we spell his name with a 'y' instead of an 'i')

Anyways, I decided that I wanted to teach my cat 'speak'. So I got some cheese and sat in the kitchen with him and told him to speak. The first few times he meowed, but he does that every time he wants food. Then he stops meowing and just watches you, hoping you'll give him food.

The dog, however, is watching you with over-excited pleading puppy-dog eyes and is sometimes loud while begging. She came into the kitchen while I was trying to train my kitten and got all excited when I began to baby talk my cat. I told Lyncoln to do something but he only looked at me with a look that said, 'I'm too good for this'. Jewel did the trick instead, so I gave her a piece of cheese.

Before I know it, my cat has left and I'm teaching the dog roll over. She learns tricks pretty easily. I'll give her that. That's an upside to dogs, and a downside to cats. But I will not give up so easily! This cat will be trained!

Darth Vader: Mmhmm. You'll get impatient with him and give up.

Me: Do or do not, there is no try! So do it, I will! And besides, I'm impatient with my siblings, not cats. I was once outside in almost 100 degree weather in Missouri at my grandparents' house all day just so I could catch a kitten with a mustache.

Darth Vader: He had a mustache?

Me: She, thank you very much! Her name was socks. She had a tuxedo fur pattern. And a mustache. And she was very loving and sweet and cute and dog-like! I even kept her on a leash until I tamed her.

Okay, anyways, here's my pro and con list for both the dog and my kitten. Dog goes first.

Jewel's Downsides:

1: Barks too much sometimes

2: Gets into the trash

3: BAD breath! She seriously smells worse than the sewer grinder across the road. Right by our house. -_-

4: She wants attention 24/7

5: She gets into the cat's litterbox

6: Since she's a dachshund, begging is in her blood. Therefore, she begs like there's no tomorrow

7: Because she is a dachshund, obesity is also in her blood. Which is bad, because food obsession in a dachshund thing too. Like a mentioned in 6.

Okay, now for the upsides!

Jewel's Upsides:

1: She's adorable

2: She likes to lick your feet

3: She eats whatever you don't (like veggies) ^-^

4: She's a fast runner, meaning she's fun to play tag with

5: She learns tricks super fast

6: She's more loyal than my cat

7: She handles showers better than my cat

Okay, that's all I can think of. On to my kitten!

Lyncoln's Upsides:

1: He's super adorable!!!!!!

2: He can purr and he purrs all the time!

3: His meow is so adorable!

4: He likes to be around you, more so than other cats

5: He sometimes puts his paw on your hand and moves your hand to where he wants to be petted. Which is SOOOO CUTE!

6: He does beg and sometimes tries to steal your food, so about as bad as the dog, but after a few minutes he lies down and sleeps while you eat, unlike the dog.

7: His breath may smell like a dead mouse, but he doesn't smell as bad as the dog. NOWHERE near as BAD as the DOG!

8: He likes to hang around me when I first wake up. Our morning ritual:

I wake up, he sees me, he follows me to the bathroom and watches me as I brush my teeth, he sometimes plays with the sink water, then I brush my hair with him still sitting on the counter, then I get done and he follows me around the kitchen as I get him new water. SSSOOOO CUTE!

9: He likes to cuddle more than other cats do. Of course, the dog cuddles too, but not with me. Lyncoln cuddles with me though. And he's so soft and cute!!!

10: He's so fun to play with! Well, the dog is too... sometimes... but playing with Lyncoln can be more fun sometimes.

11: At night, he likes to be all cute and stalk you and he pounces on you and grabs your ankle with his paws and softly bite your ankle. I love playing with him so much!

12: He and I like to play Predator and Prey around the island in the kitchen. He's even smart enough to go the other way and give you a surprise attack!

13: He doesn't get into the trash.

Okay, now for his downsides.

Lyncoln's Downsides:

1: He is reaching... uh.. 'that age', so he goes around the house at night meowing really loudly. We have a lot of female cats around. He also likes to pull the blinds back and crawl behind them to look out the window. It's really loud at one in the morning though!

2: He knocks cups of water over at night sometimes.

3: Sometimes he gets a little too playful and accidentally scratches you harder than usual.

4: He is a very stinky cat. (Litterbox wise, that is)

And that's all I can think of... Now I'm not applying this to all dogs and cats. Just my kitten and the dog. Sorry if this was boring... I just felt like comparing the two. On Wattpad... I'm not quite sure why...

Darth Vader: I don't think you're ever really sure of anything.

Me: -_- Yeah, thanks.

Well, later! God bless y'all! :)