My Awesome Book Of Randomness & Complete Craziness 1

Special Guest

Special thanks to SuperiorGhost for helping me with Plo Koon.

Me: We have a special guest here with us this evening, peoples!

Darth Vader: Do we now? I'm guessing one of your crazy imaginary friends.

Me: No, actually. He's pretty serious. You know him.

Darth Vader: *raises an eyebrow* Do I now?

Me: Yep! And I just realized something...

Darth Vader: What?

Me: You have no eyebrows... they were burned off when you caught on fire from the lava on the planet Mustafar. How can you possibly raise an eyebrow if you have no eyebrows?

Plo Koon: He may not have any eyebrows, but it is still possible to raise them.

Me: *thinks about it* Yeah, I guess it would be possible: it just wouldn't be an eyebrow. Oh, everyone, welcome our special guest, Plo Koon!

Darth Vader: I thought he was killed during Order 66.

Plo Koon: I was.

Me: DON'T REMIND ME!

Darth Vader: Then how are you alive?

Plo Koon: I could ask you the same question, Master Skywalker.

Darth Vader: I am no longer Skywalker. I am Vader.

Me: You're still Ani! You were born Anakin, therefore you will always be Anakin!

Darth Vader: Unless I change my name, which I did.

Plo Koon: Actually, the Emperor changed your name.

Me: Yeah! What Master Plo said!

Darth Vader: *rolls eyes* I agreed to the name: therefore I had part in it.

Me: Did you? Did you really? You kind of just seemed like a pawn. The Emperor's little puppet.

Darth Vader: Why does any of this matter? Sidious is dead now.

Me: *giggles* You know what I call him? Hideous Sidious! And it does matter! You're Anakin! Anakin Skywalker!

Plo Koon: The past carries great value for the future.

Me: Very true.

Darth Vader: *remains silent*

Me: Soooooo... who here likes cats?

Darth Vader: You're feeling awkward right now.

Me: Whhaaaattt?" *high pitched voice* Okay, yes: a little. Darthy, the past is in the past so let's just forget about it: for now.

Darth Vader: *rolls eyes*

Me: You did admit that you were Anakin one time.

Darth Vader: Yes, I remember. And to answer your question, I do like cats. Evil black cats.

Me: Of course. What about you, Plo Koon?

Plo Koon: I must admit that I have never seen a cat. My people do not often keep indoor pets.

Me: Have you ever had a pet?

Plo Koon: I have.

Me: What do the domesticated animals look like on your home planet?

Plo Koon: I would not use the term domesticated. They look very much like the lizards you humans call geckos, only they are three feet tall and six feet long, with very sharp fangs and venom.

Me: They sound quite dangerous.

Darth Vader: Why do you keep them as pets if they are indeed venomous?

Plo Koon: They keep the giant centipedes away.

Me: O_O How big are the centipedes on Kel Dor?

Plo Koon: A foot tall and ten feet long.