My Awesome Book Of Randomness & Complete Craziness 1

Where is My Precious?

Elisabeth/GodismyDD/Me/Myself/I: This is a parody of VeggieTales' 'Where is My Hairbrush', which is in the video above. This one is- obviously- a Hobbit Parody between Gollum, Bilbo, and- of course- The Precious. The narrations will be done by my fabulous elvish self, Eruwaedhiel.

Eruwaedhiel: *narrating* Our scene begins as Gollum, having just finished his raw and wriggling fishes, is searching for his Precious. Having no success, Gollum screeches,

     "Oh where is my Precious?
     Oh where is my Precious?
     Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where... is my Precious?"

Eruwaedhiel: Having heard his cry, Bilbo Baggins enters the scene, shocked and slightly frightened by the sight of him, he regains his composure (well, tries to, at least) and puts a hand in his pocket and asks, "What have I got in my pocket?"

Gollum, thinking this is an actual riddle, cries out, "No fair, no fair Precious! No fair, no fair Precious, no fair, no fair, oh where, oh where, no fair, no fair, oh where, oh where, oh where... is my Precious?"

Eruwaedhiel: Bilbo, realizing he had asked this aloud, stuck to the question and gave him three guesses. Gollum failed to answer each one, much to his dismay. But now, he wondered what was in his pocket and asked,

     "What is in it's pocketses?
     Is it what I think it is?
     Oh where, oh where, not fair, oh where, what is in Bagginses Pocketses... my Precious?"

Eruwaedhiel: Bilbo, now quite frightened because this slimy creature was advancing on him, begins to run off. He slips and falls over, the Precious falling out of his pocket, and he catches it by slipping it onto his finger. Gollum found him, but when he was inches away from Bilbo, he passed right by him. Bilbo was invisible!

Bilbo followed Gollum, hoping he would lead him out of the goblin tunnels. As he did, Gollum, who was feeling a deep sense of loss, began asking himself,

     "Oh where is my Precious?
     Oh where is my Precious?
     Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where... is my Precious?"

The invisible Bilbo pulled out his sword and was about to kill the horrid creature, but he then realized how much he pitied this creature. Look at what this so-called 'Precious' had done to him! Bilbo leaped over Gollum's head and ran off with the creature calling out,

     "Bagginses we hates it!
     For he stole the Precious!
     No fair, oh where, no fair, oh where, not fair, we knows, we knows, oh where oh where... my Precious is."

Eruwaedhiel: The end; for now.