Insanity (Grayson Dolan FANFIC)

Thirty two

Aaliyah's POV

It was about 4pm and Ethan had texted me a few hours before to say that he arrived safely and she's been good, and that it wasn't necessary for us to come visit. I was happy. He knew how to make her feel better and just knowing that made me feel relieved.

Grayson and i walked down to a cute little cafe a few minutes away from my house. It had light blue walls and white border frames around the doors and windows with pot plants sprouting from them. We loved going here and we were regular customers.

I ordered my usual which was a medium flat white topped with ice cream, and Grayson got mocha with some hot cakes with strawberries for us to share. We were seated right by the window and i was just taking in the scenery. I look back at Grayson to see him happily eating his food. I really admire this boy.

"Babe," he said with his mouth stuffed with food.

"Hmm?"

"Let's film a video. Together," and that just brought memories from what happened 2 years ago.

Grayson wanted to film a video together since our viewers don't know we're officially together. He was the reason why i started my channel and because his fans wanted me to as well. They knew that we dated 2 years back but we haven't told them what had happened recently. I guess they kind of have an idea.

To be completely honest, having both of us being youtubers have taken a huge toll on our relationship. When i first broken up with Grayson, i posted a video explaining the situation and so did he. Our fans who once supported both of us had turned against and chosen sides, either hating him or me. We both got a lot of hate because of miscommunication, and i guess also, some people just didn't understand the situation.

I didn't go into full detail in the video so i understand why, but its my personal life. I didn't feel like it was necessary to explain what had happened and that just saying we broke up was good enough. I didn't have any intention on people hating Gray, nor did he when i recieved hate. We wanted our fandom to always be supportive of our choices but that just isn't possible. We know it doesn't go for everyone but for the small amount who send hate really makes a difference.

I turn to look at Grayson who was looking at me, trying to read what was on my mind. As much as i wanted to make our relationship public, i was worried. I know i shouldn't let people get in the way of my happiness as well as Grayson's, but i'm scared of history repeating itself.

"Maybe we should keep this between us for now.. I'm not ready," i said looking out the window avoiding eye contact. It didn't work though, i still felt his eyes stuck on me like glue.

"What are you not ready for?" Grayson asked. He took my hand in his on the table and traced circles with his thumb.

"Just.. people say i'm not good enough for you. I know that, but i can't help but love you. I blame myself for believing those people but i know they're right. The internet is scary, Gray. I want us to be happy, together even if it's just private. I don't want anything to ruin us," i say this time looking straight into his eyes.

"Nothing will ruin us. Trust me, i know the fandom and i know they will love and support us. They did when we were together, why not again? This time will be different, and i'm going to explain everything to them," he said. Grayson just knows how to calm me down in moments like these, but sometimes he can get on my damn nerves. 🤦‍♀️

After about 20 minutes he finally convinced me to make the video with him. Goddamn it. I'm not gonna lie, i was nervous. You never know how people are going to respond. Although there were photos of us already going around being rumoured that we were back together, you can't ever trust it until the words are spoken from our mouths personally.

Grayson fed me some hot cakes and me finished our drinks. He paid for our meals and i tipped the waiter as we left the cafe.

As soon as we got back to my house, we both went upstairs and Grayson immediately started setting up to film. I sat on my bed watching him so concentrated on what he was doing.

"Like what you see?" he said smirking at me. I pulled out of my day dream and rolled my eyes laughing.

10 minutes later he finished getting everything together and now it was time to start making the video. He pressed record,

"So guys.. this week's video is going to be a serious one i guess. As you can see, i have Aaliyah right next to me and basically.." he said putting his arm around me and looking at me while talking.

"We're officially dating. Well, again," he said chuckling. "I know what you're all thinking but it's okay we're back and happier than ever. All i ask is for you guys to be happy for us and support our decisions."

I smile slightly looking back at him. I didn't want to make contact with the camera but it was time i had to speak up. I cleared my throat and started talking..

"So, it's been a while since i've been on this channel and uh," i paused thinking before what i was going to say.

"I'm- i am so sorry.." Grayson looks at me with a confused look on his face. Tears started to slowly fill up my tears but i still continued on.

"I'm so sorry that i can't help my feelings.. for Grayson. I know that he can always do so much better than me, but i know i make him happy and he makes me happy. I'm hopelessly in love with him and i'm so happy to be. I'm so sorry that some of you don't approve, i wish i could be better but i know that i can treat Grayson the way he's suppose to be treated. So i'm sorry to those who i don't deserve Grayson, i'm sorry to those who don't like us together but please, if you support Grayson then this is our choice," I said with my voice cracking, ugly ass crying.

"I didn't want to make our relationship public this way. I wanted to enjoy being together without the pressure, but Grayson wanted me to do this."

I looked up meeting Gray's eyes and he had a sad look on his face. He pulls me in for a hug and we sit there for a good 3 minutes before we forgot we were filming. Grayson cleared his throat and finished off the rest of the video.

"Aaliyah shouldn't have to be saying sorry, and i hope you guys understand that. It makes me sad seeing her like this just because some people who SAY they support me don't 'approve' of me being with her. She really makes me happy, and she turned me into a better me. Guys, this is my girlfriend and i love her. Thank you for watching the video, yes the rumours were true. Sorry for the serious video but come back next week for a new video on Tuesday! We love you guys and see you all next week!" and we closed out the video.

He stopped recording and looks at me right into my eyes that reflected off his. He lifted my chin and our lips touched syncing with every movement.

"I love you Aaliyah. This is what i want."