Insanity (Grayson Dolan FANFIC)

Sixty seven

Aaliyah's POV

I sit on my bed with my face in my hands. Why was this so difficult? One part of me so badly wanted to be with him, whereas the other part of me wants to be nowhere near him. I roll my eyes at MYSELF and just collapse back onto my bed. I allowed the music playing from my speaker to just drown me in my thoughts and somehow relax.

It's now or never Ally. After today you will be completely single or in a long distant relationship for a while. I really couldn't imagine myself a life without Grayson. Like i said, life with Grayson is just better.

I was slowly building up the walls that he had taken down. I felt vulnerable in this state. I didn't want anyone to see me like this, and that's why i always hid myself from others. Grayson however, has seen me naked. I don't mean just physically, but he sees everything. He's seen my flaws, my insecurities and my raw emotions yet still loves me for every part of me - something no other boy could do.

My phone yet vibrates again lifting me from my thoughts, this time from someone i didn't expect a message from.

Grayson: I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I hope i see you before i leave, Ally. This is hard on me.

I bite the inside of my cheek nervously not knowing if i should reply or not. I open up the notification and just stare. Knowing that he knows that i've read his message made me anxious and pressured to reply.

Grayson: I love you my princess.

Ugh, cry me a fucking river. What is my life now? A soap opera?

I phoned Ethan knowing he was with Amy.

"What time is your flight E?" i asked him.

"I think 4am," he replied. I look up to my ceiling and just think for a moment with silence filling up the phone call. I could hear him let out a sigh on the other side of the phone.

"Ally.. no matter how you think of it, you and Grayson are meant to be. Come see us off at the airport, you have to," he says empathetically.

I nod my head even though he can't see me and say goodbye to him. I hang up the phone and just throw my phone onto the other side of my room, not even caring if it breaks. I cover myself up with my blanket and just fall back to sleep.

I'll go out for a run later.

-----

Grayson's POV

I sit on my floor next to my suitcase packing up the remainder of my stuff. I didn't want to forget anything else as we went back on tour. I texted Aaliyah before but as i expected, i got no response. She's read my text which makes my heart ache but i understand. I just wish that there was some way that i could get her to talk to me.

She completely avoided me yesterday at the cafe. As my eyes set on her, everything else was blurry and she was the only thing i could focus on. She couldn't look at me though, and that's what hurt the most. I really fucked up, and i've tried so hard to prove it to her all for me to just fuck it up again.

Whatever Gray, you didn't deserve her anyway.

I decided to go for a run just to let go of all my thoughts and hopefully, wear myself out.

I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my keys and phone and headed out. I ran down to a close park and just jogged about. It felt weird without Ethan no lie, but he was spending time with Amy before he left. I honestly wish that was me right now, not with Amy obviously but Aaliyah.

As i was panting and catching my breath, a fan and her friend came up to me and asked for a photo - i of course said yes. She was a very pretty girl, but nothing compared to Ally. Aaliyah just filled up pretty much 90% of my brain and heart.

She was making conversation with me, and although i wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone i couldn't just blow her off. Her friend was talking to me as she continued feeling up my arm. I have to say it made me feel really uncomfortable..

I constantly tried moving myself away from her but she just leaned on my arm or just slowly caressed it. As i was talking to the two girls, i look past one of the girl's head and see something i wish i didn't. Someone.

Aaliyah.

"I'm so sorry but i have to get going now. It was nice seeing you," i quickly say to the girls giving them a quick hug and running over to Aaliyah who was now turned away from me.

"Aaliyah!" i yelled out but it didn't work. She continued walking. I caught up to her and i turned her around facing me. There were already tears streaming down her face like a waterfall - neverending.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" i asked as i hold her up by both her shoulders. She hesitated to talk to me as she wouldn't make any eye contact with me.

"Why should you care?" she said harshly. I was taken back by her tone of voice but i remember that she was hurting. She pushes off my hands and steps back from me.

"Of course i care about you. For fuck sake Aaliyah, all i've been wanting to do is talk to you. You matter so fucking much to me, do you know that? I'm leaving tomorrow and all i keep thinking about is if i'm going to see you again before i go. Please just talk to me," i say lifting her chin up to meet her eyes. Her eyes were sparkling and glossy in the sun, the eyes that were crying tears out for me. This girl was really hurting.

"Grayson you don't understand. I gave you all of me, every fucking part of me and i watch you throw it all away. Yes i still love you but i don't want to be scared that i'll lose you again one day. It's happened before and i can't bare to see that happen again," she says shakily. Her voice was cracking trying not to break down with tears in her eyes.

I wanted to cry and show so much emotion but nothing was coming out. It was as if i was in so much pain that i couldn't feel it. There was a moment of silence as i reached for her hand once again, but she pulled away before i could touch her.

"I hope you have a safe flight Grayson," was the last thing she said before walking away.