Insanity (Grayson Dolan FANFIC)

Sixty two

Grayson's POV

"Aaliyah.. Ally.. Don't leave me please.
I love you.."

"I love you too Gray," she says and i slowly lean in closer to her face. She places her hand on the back of my neck and drawing me in towards her, and my arm snakes around her waist. Our eyes meet and our gaze at each other doesn't stop. Our foreheads touch and the tip of our noses just make contact. Suddenly it was as if something triggered her as i saw her eyes turn dark and hateful.

"You should have never broken my heart Grayson. I don't ever want you to call or text me again. I don't ever want to see you again. You make me sick from just looking at you," she says angrily.

And with that, she loosens her grip from my body and walks away.

"Gray! GRAYSON." I groan and put my pillow over my head to block out the annoying sound. I soon felt my pillow being pulled away from me and water splashing into my ear. I jump up quickly shaking out the liquid and rubbing my tired eyes.

"What the fuck Ethan?" i yell.

"You were whimpering in your sleep. I thought you were probably having a nightmare," he replied shrugging his shoulders.

"What happened bro? You were sweating and panting like crazy," Ethan says laying a hand on my shoulder. I roughly rub my face with both hands waking myself up and look at him with the most dead face i could show.

"Aaliyah bro.. I miss her. I'm a fucking dumbass. What was i thinking? No girl could ever compare to her," i sigh. I sit down on the edge of my bed with my face in my hands and Ethan following.

"I know you're an idiot, but she'll forgive you. It's Aaliyah we're talking about. How long have we known her for? She clearly still loves you and that says something. She doesn't want to let the media know what happened because she cares about you, she doesn't want to ruin your life like those other girls especially the one at the bar.. Fucking Alex, he should have never brought us there to be completely honest," Ethan says.

I know that Aaliyah would probably put everything behind us and try being friends eventually, but that's the thing. I can't stand being friends with her. I want more than that, i want all of her. Call me selfish but i want her all to myself.

"It's going to kill me seeing her with another guy Eth.. I don't think i can handle it," i say with my voice shaking.

"You think she's gonna instantly go out with another guy right after? You know she's not like that, especially after dating you. She's not going to be with anyone for a while."

I sure hoped so. Don't get me wrong i want her to be happy, i just wish it was with me.. Gosh i'm such a fuck up. Our relationship was perfect and i just had to go and ruin it again.

Ethan tried saying some things to cheer me up but it wasn't working. He told me he was going to go out for food and asked if i wanted to tag along, but i declined his offer. He later on grabbed his wallet and phone and was headed out on the search for food.

I decided to pull out the camera and make a video from my side of the story. It was the least i could do for both my subscribers and Aaliyah.

I cleared my throat as my sweaty palms rubbed against my thighs, surely having a hard time thinking of what to say. Then i hit the record button..

"What's up guys, i'm back. Today's video is just going to be me. Um, i know that a lot of you have questions that you want answered and hopefully this video just clears up some things for you. I wanted to make this video just to let you know my perspective of things and just what's been going on lately in my life.

Aaliyah and i broke up, to be specific, she broke up with me. I made a terrible mistake and i know that i can never expect her to forgive me again or even give me another chance. No lie, i obviously care for this girl and she will always be my number one but i'm an idiot to let this all be taken away because of my stupid decision i made on my part. Her heart is set on living her life without me being a part of it.

Let me rephrase that, she is certain that she does not want to be involved with me in a relationship-type way. I know she said that she wants it to stay this way but i hope that she can somehow change her mind, or that i can change her mind.

My message to Aaliyah, my beautiful princess.. being with you was the best decision i ever made. Making you mine and being able to show you off in front of public eyes was definitely a blessing. You have taught me countless amounts of life lessons and you brought me to my feet when i was down. I can't lie, not being with you is making me ache and i can't deny the way i feel about you. You make me go insane, crazy in fact. You were on my side when no one else was, you believed in me when i saw no hope in myself and you changed me into a better version my myself. Thank you for the memories we created, this journey has been a gift i won't ever take for granted. I love you Aaliyah, as the first girl i ever fell in love with, thank you for showing me what i needed to improve on. You're an amazing girl you know that? You make The Grayson Dolan weak at his knees.

Well.. now onto things that have been going on. Yes it has been hard on me the past couple of days, and i've been feeling down because of this and it really affects the way i feel physically, which affects the shows we are doing. I know that a lot of you can see a change in the way i act or just how i am in general and i want to say that i am blessed to have a fandom that knows when i am not my true self. I'm sorry i wish i could be better for you but please know i am trying my best. We were definitely not going to stop the tour just because i wasn't 'feeling well.' Being able to have the opportunity to meet all of you who made my dream come true is a blessing and i would not have it any other way.

Thank you for the support that you have been giving both Ethan and myself. We love you with everything. And Aaliyah i love you, take care of yourself.. and hopefully i will get to see you soon."

As i ended the video, the door to our hotel room clicked and i knew Ethan was back with food.

"Hey what you up to?" Ethan asked curiously.

"I just filmed a short video about everything, like everything," i say softly. Ethan nods his head as he knows what i'm talking about and starts walking towards the kitchen table with the bag of food.

"Mexican?" he asks. Yum.