Insanity (Grayson Dolan FANFIC)

Sixty one

Aaliyah's POV

It's been a couple days since i broke it off with Grayson. I'm not getting back together with him no matter how badly i want to. He texted and called and spammed my phone in as many different ways that you could. I made the decision to block his number and let me tell you, that shit really broke my heart. I was being serious about this.

Ethan tries getting me to talk to him but what's the point? Our conversation would get nowhere and i would end up in the same situation as i always do, as the victim.

I sat down sighing on my bed. I set up my camera, lights and backdrop and just closed my eyes. I thought about the time Grayson and i filmed a video about announcing our relationship to the world and it made me happy. It was a huge step i didn't think i would make but i did, and i was proud of my decision. Now i think otherwise.

...

"So guys, it's been a minute since i've done a sit down video and just really talk to you all. Lately i've been going through some tough things in my life and one thing that really took a toll on me in particular. I'm sure you've probably all seen the photo i'm talking about that's all over social media at the moment. I'm not going to go in depth about this situation, but i want to say thank you for the crazy amount of support that i am constantly receiving, i truly love you with all my heart.

As most of you can tell, Grayson and i have hit a difficult stage in our relationship and decided it was unfortunately best not to continue what we had. Yes, that's right. We are no longer together and i don't think there will be an 'us' in the future. I just want to say thank you Grayson Dolan for once being an important part of my life and also being the most important person in my life. We had a lot of ups and downs and we definitely got through them, but we couldn't fix this and i'm sorry.

I wish things were different but i can't change the way i feel, or see things. I want you to know Grayson that i am always going to have love for you, i will always care for you and if you ever need me i am there. Just because we break up, it doesn't mean i am never going to talk or see you again, because i know there will come a day. I love you, i really did.. and i really hoped things would have been different this time.

The reason why i don't want to talk about what really happened is because i know how harsh the media can be. I've been there and experienced that. I absolutely do not want anyone hating on Grayson, that is the last thing i would want. Please accept our decision and continue to support the both of us individually.

I am also going to announce that i will be taking a short break from Youtube. All the stress and busy schedule is really not helping my current mental and physical state. I want to put out videos i am proud of and not just uploading because i need to. I hope you understand, i know that this is a lot to take in but things will get better. I know they will. I don't know how long i'll be gone, but i'll still keep you all updated on my other socials like snapchat and twitter.

Thank you for everything, i wouldn't get through this all without you."

I did my outro and pressed the stop recording button on my camera. I thought about the many things running through my mind before connecting my camera to my computer and editing the video. I double checked with Grayson to let him know i was uploading this type of video and he sadly agreed. He still wasn't accepting the fact that we were seperated and it's understandable, i mean i'm still so heartbroken. He knew what he did was wrong, and he was letting me do what i wanted with the situation which i adored. He was being mature and reasonable.

I sat down at my desk and started editing the short video. I just wanted to completely stop and delete the entire thing because it was so sad. I didn't want to announce my break up or upload a video like this, but everyone knew something was up. Especially since Grayson and Ethan were on tour and Grayson unexpectedly got 'sick.' That didn't stop them from doing the shows though.

I sat with my forehead pressed against my knees and closed my eyes. Why did everything have to turn out like this? We were so happy.

Grayson Dolan you are one stupid boy, but you were my stupid boy. The one i am suppose to be in love with.