BTS Soft Sleep Imagines [COMPLETED]

{39} Jeon Jeongguk

1472 words

This includes self harm! And it's kinda detailed..? Maybe not that detailed but it's poetic, I guess. Anyways this is a warning :)

Pain.

That's all you felt.

Worthless.

Is all you thought you were.

Useless.

All you thought you'd ever be.

Nothing you ever felt before, could compare to this. This numbness. The feeling of not being good enough. Not being able to do something right. Not being able to be there for others. Not being able to make everyone around you happy. Not being able to do the things you were supposed to do.

The only thing you felt like you could do, was sit in your room. Door closed. Music blasting through the speakers to drain out your inner thoughts. Knees pressed up to your chest as your arms wrap around them, securing them in place.

The past week had been horrible. Not only did you have several appointments with your psychologists again, but on top of that a few mental breakdowns. You also felt numb. The numb feeling engulfing you whole as you tried keeping your face in a smile while you were around others. You'd hate yourself if they felt bad, all because of you.

The only feeling you felt beside the numbness was pain. The burning pain on your thigh. It was your fault it was there. You made the decision. It was all to blame on you.

The small rays of the moonlight make their way past the little crack in the curtains, making the drops of blood shimmer. You clench the scissors in your hand. Why? You ask yourself this everytime you decide to hurt yourself, but so far, no answers came up in your mind yet.

The music keeps blasting, and you vaguely hear the familiar notification sound of your phone. Dropping the tool in your lap, you reach over to the device, seeing it's a message from Jungkook.

Kookie 🐰💝
Hey baby ♥️ I'm on my way home, do I need to get you something from the store?

Your fingers quickly make their way over the touchscreen of your phone. You just wanted him home as soon as he possibly could be.

Queen 💍💋
No. Just get home. Please.

You didn't felt like using an emoji, and you knew Jungkook would sense something was off now. Hot tears make their way down your cheeks as you await the worst part. The stinging cut on your thigh was just the beginning. You never felt this bad before. Sure, you had other scars, but you never felt this worthless before. It was never this scary.

When you told Jungkook about your issues, he was loving and caring, and made sure he was there when you felt like this. But this week had been a rough week, and of course he decided to stay at the dorms for a few days.