Lie To Me

Lie To Me-Chapter 108

(Harry's POV)

I waited for her to respond to my question...for her to say anything, little pieces of my heart breaking with every passing second...

Riley looked as if I'd just slapped her; pain, fear, and confusion all passing through her shocked gaze. And I guess in a way, I had. She wasn't expecting this, and when I first saw her, I hadn't been planning for it either. But, I had to do it this way... I had to know, without a doubt, what the truth was. Once and for all.

She opened her mouth to speak, and I held my breath, prayer after prayer passing through my head as I waited. But, instead of rushing into my arms, telling me everything I so desperately needed to hear, finally shutting up that irritating voice in my head that would not stop doubting, a broken sound left her throat. Tears welled up in her eyes, and my heart snapped in two.

She didn't love me...

"How..." She shook her head, visually trying to gather her strength. "How could you even ask me that?!? How could you say you love me, and then just tell me that I'm not enough for you?!?"

What?!? Not enough for me?!? She was EVERYTHING to me!!

"But, I didn't say..."

I watched in confusion as the pain that had at first registered on her face turned to pure anger.

"You didn't have to say it, Harry! With everything that's happened?!? With everything I've said?!? With everything I've done?!? I wouldn't BE here if I didn't love you!! I wouldn't be LIVING with you if I didn't love you!! I wouldn't give myself to you over and over again, wouldn't profess my love every single day, wouldn't want you by my side every minute if I didn't love you!! I love you with every single part of me! I love you with everything I have! I would give up the entire world if I could just have you for the rest of my damn life!"

Yes, she was shouting at me, in public, on the side of the street, but I couldn't hide the smile that seemed to be shining up from my toes. She did love me. She did! And deep down, I guess I knew it all along. While Riley continued to yell at me, I mentally flicked off the doubts that had wriggled their way into my brain, and did a little happy dance. She loved me...

"Riley." Feeling like a giant weight had been taken off my shoulders, I took a step toward her, my hands reaching out to her, waiting for that moment when she'd step into my arms and make me the happiest man in the world.

But, instead of it playing out like it had in my head, her eyes darted from my hands to my smiling face, looking at me as if I was insane.

"Riley, I love you. Come here."

Her jaw dropped. "Are you fucking kidding me?!?" And just like that, she turned and walked away.

I stood there for a second, wondering what the hell had just happened. Okay, yes, my delivery was shit, and somewhere along the way this whole thing had gotten twisted. But, I loved her. She loved me. So, why weren't we wrapped up in each other's arms right now, forgetting about the world around us?

Scooping Max back into my arms, I took off after her, catching up fairly quickly.

"Riley, wait!"

She stopped as I got closer, and turned to face me, tears streaming down her cheeks. The pain and defeat that dulled the usual sparkle in her eyes hit me like a gunshot.

Oh, no... What had I done?

"No, Harry... I can't do this! I can't play this game with you!" Her voice cracked as fresh tears fell. "I know that people have hurt you in the past. I know that people have used you, made you feel loved only to rip the rug out from underneath you. I know that it may be hard for you to believe that someone could really love you this way...without any thought or care to your 'celebrity,' to what they could get out of being with you. I understand that. But, I've given everything I have to you. I've shown you every way possible how much I love you. There's nothing more that I can do. But, apparently my best is not enough for you. I am not enough for you. Do you have ANY idea how much that hurts?!? Do you have ANY idea how it feels to wake up so completely happy, so completely in love with the best man you've ever known, only to find out that he doesn't believe in your love?!? That he doesn't trust you?!? That giving him every piece of your heart is still not enough?!?"

No... No no no!!! That wasn't it at all!!!

My own eyes welled with tears as I watched the woman I loved with all my heart fall apart in front of me...because of me...

Unable to think, much less speak coherently, I shifted Max under one arm, and grabbed Riley with the other, pulling her against me.

"No!" Her cry was muffled as I held her against my chest, desperate to find the words to say... Desperate to fix what I'd so royally screwed up...

Closing my eyes, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head like I always did.

"Riley... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I just... After talking to Bree this morning, and finding out that you'd invited her to stay with us this week, I just... I didn't know what to think. This was supposed to be our time together. This..." I took a deep breath before spilling my original plan. "This was supposed to be my way of showing you what we could be together, of getting you to fall in love with me, of getting you to see that I want you in my life, as the love of my life, not just my best friend... And to show you what it could be like if you'd ever say yes to being my..."

Her head lifted from where it had been buried against my chest. "But, I didn't invite Bree to come here! She invited herself! She didn't even ask me if it was okay! All I got was a text message saying she'd told her boss to cancel her hotel stay because she could stay here! I never even responded to her! Harry, I knew how much this week meant to you, and I love you. Why would I do something like that?"

I felt like an idiot... I should have known. I should have known that Riley would never sabotage our time together like that.

But, then again, Bree wasn't the only problem that had plagued my mind this morning...

"But, she didn't even know about us, Riley... Her calling you woke me up, so I answered your phone. I know I shouldn't have, but I did... And she was shocked. She thought she'd called the wrong number! So, obviously she didn't know about us. She didn't know we are together now... I don't think anybody knows... Why do you keep trying to hide this?"

Riley shook her head, taking a deep breath. " Im not hiding it. Im just... I'm scared, Harry... Why is that so hard for you to understand? I'm scared that if I tell the world that I've fallen in love with the most amazing man on the planet...that I'm finally happy... I'm scared that something will happen, and it'll all go away. I'm scared that I'll become even more hated than I was when we moved in together. I'm scared that one day, with all the stress, pressure, the fans, and the media, you won't love me anymore, and I'll just...fade away. I'm scared that I'll lose you...that I'll lose everything..." Her arms moved from where they'd been pressed against my chest, to wrap around me, holding me tight.

Riley had told me about her fears that first night... She'd told me she was scared, and I'd promised her to take things slow. But, here I was, barely a few days later, pushing her all over again... What an idiot...

Tucking my chin against her head, I held her close to me. "Baby, I'm sorry... I'm sorry I handled all of this the way I did. I shouldn't have come at you like that. I should have just talked to you, like this, like we are now... And, you ARE enough for me, Riley. You are more than enough. I couldn't ask for anyone better than you. I couldn't wish for anyone to show me more love than you've shown me every day. I guess... I guess I just have issues when it comes to really falling in love."

Still sniffling, she raised her head to look at me, the softness of her eyes shining back at me as she leaned in to gently press her lips to mine. "I think we both do... We both give love openly and honestly, but struggle to accept it in return." She paused for a moment. "So, let's learn together, okay? I love you, and as long as you love me, we'll get through everything else, okay?"

"Okay." Smiling down at her, I pulled her closer for another sweet kiss before tucking her against my side to finish the walk home. "I love you, Riley... Always."

"I love you, Harry..." She nudged my side with her elbow, "But, I swear to God... If you ever pull another stunt like that, I'm going to have to kill you..."

"You won't have to. Cause, if I ever see that look in your eyes again, from something that I said or did, I'll probably be too busy killing myself..."