Mending Broken Hearts-2

Showers and Surprises

Thank you for the support in the last chapter. I love reading all of your comments. It keeps me motivated to keep producing more chapters for you all to enjoy.

"Theo baby mama has to go."

"NO!" Theo screams and it breaks my heart.

"I'll come back during my break. I..."

"Ma no!" He begins sobbing.

"Mark." I look up to Mark and he tries to take Theo from me but he pushes him away.

"Ma ma no!"

"Mark do something." I cry as Mark pries Theo from my arms.

"No ma." Theo cries out.

"Mama has to go but I'll be back." I wave to him as he continues to cry.

"I'll calm him down. Go you have surgery." Mark assures me. I nod my head but all I feel are my tears streaming down my face. I hate this part of the day. Leaving Theo at daycare was making me feel like I wasn't doing enough. I wasn't enough for him. All I wanted was to hold and love on him all day but I have to go to work.

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"You did great in there Benoist." Bailey compliments me as we scrub out after a colectomy.

"Thank you, Dr. Bailey." I keep washing my hands not focusing on anything else.

"Is there something wrong?" Bailey asks me.

"Uh...how did you feel when you left Tuck at daycare?" I ask her needing to know what I'm doing is right.

"What?"

"Because Theo just recently every time Mark and I drop him off he...he just screams no. He gets so upset when I start to leave the room. And it...it breaks my heart hearing him scream like that for me and I..."

"You wonder if this is what you should be doing?" Bailey finishes for me.

"Did you ever feel that way?" I ask her and she nods her head. She stays silent. I don't expect her to bond with me over this.

"Tuck would throw himself at my legs. He thought if he grabbed onto just one leg I wouldn't go to work. I wouldn't leave home with his father. Having to leave your child. Your child who you love more than life. You are leaving your child for something else you love."

"Yes." I exclaim. "I...I feel like I'm choosing my job over my child and...I hate the feeling it gives me."

"That gets easier." Bailey assures me.

"Does it?" I ask her. "Because...the only time I can erase Theo's cries are when I'm in surgery. And I feel like that I'm being a bad mother if I..."

"I'll stop you right there." Bailey makes me look at her. "You are not a bad mother because you're working. You are not a bad mother because your child misses you. You are not a bad mother. You got that." Bailey states to me. "Look, it's normal to feel bad for going back to work. We're wired to care for our children and when they are upset it makes us upset but...Gen you are a great mother and you're becoming a great surgeon. There is nothing wrong to let something drop."

"Did Tuck adjust to you being at work all the time?"

"Tuck is growing up in a happy home now. His dad and I are co-parenting well enough that he doesn't have to hear us shouting at one another. We are there to support him to be the best person he can be. And that's all that matters him is that his parents are happy."

"Thank you, Dr. Bailey." I bring her into a hug.

"Uh...we don't have to do th..."

"I want to do this." I cut her off and hug her a little bit more.