#33 ** (Camren)

Chapter 74: Find You Again

Lauren's POV

I had been on the road trip searching for Camila for more than two years and it was going to be three years soon. I did not find or heard anything about her, only that one time when she withdrew all her savings in Colorado. I hoped she was fine and that she just did not want to leave any tracks, not that she needed urgent money as something bad happened. I was glad that I started to transfer some money to her account regularly since we were girlfriends. She did not like it but I did not stop doing it. At least, she had some money that she could live comfortably for a few years even without any income.

It had been six hundred forty days since she left. I did not see her for that long and I had been missing her that long. I met her in July and she left the next year in November. She was with me for sixteen months but she had left for thirty-three months. I spent time with her less than I spent time searching for her. I hoped I could spend thousands of time more with her when I found her. Life was so unfair somehow, or probably it was just my karma.

During these years of searching for her, there were times I felt optimistic, there were times that I was at the lowest point that I wanted to give up and quit searching for her. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I could not sleep crying, thinking of her. Recently, I was feeling numb about this search. I asked myself if all of this was worth doing. I meant if I would ever find her by doing this way. Somehow, I thought I was doing a stupid thing, searching for her like this. It was like searching for a needle in a haystack. I might look stupid, but I blamed love for making me stupid. However, I was still doing this and I would keep on doing this until I found her. If not doing this, I did not know what I should do and what I wanted to do. There was nothing else I wanted now, I just wanted her, my little bunny, the love of my life.

I kept my plans secret. I kept my search secret. It was only Normani, Dinah, Halsey, Sofia, and my mother who knew that I went on the road searching for Camila. I did not want others to know including the media, and especially him. I was disappeared to them, that was what I wanted them to think. If he knew I was still looking for Camila, he would not stop his evil deeds. He could ruin my plan and he might also want to find Camila first before me. He might have promised my mother but I just did not trust him.

I dismissed the agents that I hired to find Camila last year after they could not find her for a year. I still had a few left, but they were my guys and could be trusted for the confidential things. I asked them to help me watch over the things that were trackable, such as if she left the country, if she opened any accounts, or registered something, or other stuff. I could ask the police to do so, looking for missing people, but it would draw their attention and he would find out that I was still looking for Camila.

Even though it was only my closest friends who knew that I was still looking for Camila, I did not tell them the details of my plan. I liked to keep my plans and my moves secret. However, I did not want Normani to worry too much. I would send her pictures or call her once in a while just to tell her I was doing fine out here. I stopped by in Texas last New Year's Eve to see Normani, as it was coincident. I was in Oklahoma and would head to Texas when she told me she would be home for Christmas and New Year.

After Texas, the twenty-seventh state where I searched for Camila, I headed to Nove Mexiko, Colorado again, Wyoming, Montana, Washington, and now I was heading to Oregon. I always learned and found some information about the states and the cities I was heading to. There was a little joy in me to know that the next city I was heading to, Portland, was a rose city. It reminded me of Camila. It was not that we had a story there, but she loved a rose. The sunflower was her favorite flower, but she loved a rose, a single rose.

It was the third of August, I arrived here, in Portland around eleven. It was a warm sunny day. It was not too hot and not too cold. I parked my motorhome and took my bicycle out. They said Portland was a bike-friendly city. I went to the city to look around and to find myself lunch. After lunch, I wandered to the food carts area, since Camila loved food, food trucks, food carts, and anything related to food. Every place I went, I would go to check the local food places. Portland was also famous for the coffee landscape in the country. Probably, Camila was here making coffee, or my cappuccino. I tried to slow down when I was passing a coffee shop, but I was not lucky so far after two hours. I was tired and decided to chill at the Rose Test Garden at Washington Park. If Camila was not here, at least those roses would remind me of her, remind me of our beautiful moments.