#33 ** (Camren)

Chapter 83: Deserved The Best

Camila's POV

It was Monday, five minutes past eleven in the afternoon. I was sitting here in the hospital looking at Lauren who was unconscious lying in the bed. The doctor said she was suffering from hypothermia. It had been three hours since she was out of the emergency room. I was sitting here for three hours accompanied by my own tears. I did not know what to think but I felt completely horrible. I should not have pushed her away too hard. I could have killed her.

Never a second in my life, did I want her to die. Even when I thought she was cheating on me, it never crossed my mind I wanted her to die, never in my heart, I feel hatred for her. I was certainly sorrowful and furious at that time, even though it was too painful to hate her because I loved her much. When I knew the truth about what happened in the past and what she had done to find me, I was completely frightened as I loved her even more. She loved me so much that I did not deserve her. When we were together, I asked myself what I had done that I deserved her love. I was afraid I could not love her enough. After what happened these three years, I did not deserve her love anymore. She deserved someone much better than me.

I wanted what the best for her. What I had done in these past three months seemed not the right way to let her have the best that the world could offer. I kept my distance. I kept my walls high. I ignored her at my best hoping that she would let me go and lose her love for me and that she could have someone better to love her. It turned out wrong. She did not give up. She did not go. To make her go was hard for me, but to let her stay also would be hard for both of us. I would only become her burden and not the best thing she could have. I knew I was selfish doing things my way. I just wanted her to have the best in the world, the best love she deserved.

It was almost lunchtime and Nas was here. I wanted to be here when she woke up, but I had to go. I had to see my babies at home. Luna was fine but Helio was throwing a tantrum as he did not see me since he woke up. Helio could be difficult to handle. He was too attached to me. Mrs. Spencer was out of hand. It was also the first Monday of the month when I had to see my psychiatrist after the babies took their afternoon nap. I could not skip it. I needed to see her even more today.

.

After having my session, I went back home. Luna and Helio would wake up from their afternoon nap. I got home and I was worried seeing Nas was at home. He was supposed to be at the hospital.

"Nas, you are here? Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Everything is fine, Mila. Lauren is conscious now but she needs proper rest. The doctor said she should stay at least forty-eight hours. They will check again before they release her." Nas informed.

"Okay, I will go there."

"Camila, Lauren is still weak and she needs a proper rest, better to go there tomorrow." Mrs. Spencer said.

"I need to see her," I said.

Mrs. Spencer and Nas were looking at each other.

"What is it?" I asked.

"She asked me to leave her. I asked her if she wanted to see you, or mama, or even Luna and Helio. She said she needs a rest and wants to be alone. She told the nurse she doesn't want to see anyone."

I did not know what to say, "Okay. I will go there tomorrow. Mrs. Spencer, thank you for looking after Helio and Luna. I am here now..." I trailed off as my mind was thinking of Lauren. I wanted to be alone and they understood.

"Okay, we are at home. If you need anything just let us know." Mrs. Spencer said before she left with Nas back to their place.

It seemed the Halloween curse did not stop haunting me. It just took one break last year. It all started with Nial cheating on me, then the video of Lauren and Kendall, and then the next year when I almost lost my babies. Now, this year, this happened. I did not know if it could get any worse.