"No," I breathe out, "no, no, no. Fuck, no. No!" That's when my breathing began to pick up, my lungs not working with me. "Changbin!" I scream, feeling my legs go weak before I collapse into our kitchen cabinet.
"What? What is it baby? What happened?" He comes running in, holding his hands out as if he knew I'd be almost collapsed.
"Hold me, hold me. Please hold me. Please, don't let go, don't let go." My voice didn't shake, no. It was demanding, yet it was weak and soft.
He grabs me tightly and pulls me to his chest, letting us fall slowly to the ground.
"Don't let go, don't let go," I mutter repeatedly, trying to reassure myself that he wasn't going to.
I balled his sweatshirt in my hands, squeezing it and trying to continuously pull him closer. I clench my eyes shut, burying it into his bulky, warm shoulder.
My knuckles were turning white as I squeezed the material harder until they were almost numb. My whispers were the only thing heard in that kitchen, Changbin keeping quiet.
He knew that me whispering was a... coping mechanism. He knew that he needed to hold me or else my mind would go into chaos again. And he did it so well, and it made me feel so unbelievably comforted and happy.
Once my shoulders relaxed, he knew it was okay to talk and move. My whispers quieted down and I only listened to his voice.
"You did so well, baby boy, so well," he whispers into my ear. "Are you alright?"
I nod, not feeling strong enough to speak. I always feel drained after these episodes.
"Let's go take a nap, okay?" He began to lean back, but I tighten my hold unconsciously, gasping in.
"Wait, wait, wait," I breathe out, "wait for me."
He nods, holding me until I give the final okay. It only takes a few seconds until I lean back myself, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
"Thank you. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, you can't control it. Let's go take a nap now, alright? You can tell me what happened, if you want to, when you wake up."
"I'm so lucky to have you, bun."
•How was this?•
i'm so tired of everything :(
