I huff out of the side of my mouth, ignoring my hyungs as they continue to tease me for being the youngest. I, of course, had to go along with it when the camera was on. I don't think they understood that it was annoying sometimes.
"Yeniii," Hyunjin drags out, pinching my cheek, "so cute! What a baby!"
I roll my eyes, slapping his hand away gently. He pouts before going back to the happy-go-lucky guy he was before. I stand up from my seat on the couch and go over to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
I rest my hands on the sink, leaning forward with frustration. I hated being treated like a kid. I wasn't used to it. I'm the eldest brother of two at home. God, I felt bad for all of the years they had to go through with me torturing them. All of this is payback for it.
A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts and I sigh, splashing some water on my face before drying it off. I open the door with a curious expression, seeing Chan hyung stand there with a concerned face.
"You okay, Innie?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You just looked annoyed with the boys. Are you sure everything is alright?"
The frustration builds up when I don't respond. I glance at the floor, not being able to look at him any longer. I felt guilty of my emotions towards them. I clench my jaw, exhaling heavily.
"Jeongin...?"
"I just wish you guys would quit treating me like a goddamn baby all the time!" I shout, bitter tears filling my eyes. I quickly rub them away, pushing past him to go to my room.
"Jeongin!" He calls, his footsteps quickly following me. I could practically feel the other boy's' eyes on us.
Chan grabs my wrist, stopping me and pulling me back, "talk to us. We're a family. You can't hold in your feelings like this."
"I can't talk to you guys because-" I stop midway, swallowing the lump in my throat before continuing, "because all you guys do is treat me like some stupid kid. I'm not much younger than you guys, but all you guys do is tease me and pull me around like a porcelain doll that no one else can touch. You don't even let me swear when we're at home! And it's like someone has to be with me at all times because they're afraid I'll hurt myself like a child with a knife. And then when I try to get away from it, I'm the one who- who looks like the bad guy. I love you guys, but please, for Christ' sake, just leave me alone right now."
I tear my wrist away from his grip and go to my shared bedroom, shutting the door and leaning back against it. My tears flood my shirt. My throat aches with how much I'm holding back my cries.
"Jeongin?" A voice pops up, whipping my head up to meet the person. "What's the matter?" Changbin walks forward, gently tugging me into a hug.
I cry silently into his shoulder, shaking my head. He probably gets teased as much as I do, not about his age, but about how he acts on camera.
"Yang, what happened?" He questions softly. It was odd sometimes to hear how sentimental he could get. It was nice though.
"Y-you didn't hear what happened out there?" I question, thinking that they'd all been out there when I yelled at Chan hyung.
"I was sleeping in here," he explains, "I only heard a bit of the shouting, but I thought it was Seungmin and Hyunjin arguing again."
"Oh," I respond, worried if I would have to explain it to him. I didn't want to upset him. I didn't want to upset any of them. I didn't mean to have my outburst. Some things shouldn't be said, and that was one of them.
"What happened out there?" He asks, setting us down on the bed and sitting cross-legged.
I squeeze my eyes shut, "I yelled at Chan hyung. I shouldn't have, but I was so frustrated. You all treat me like some fragile kid, and I'm so used to being the oldest. It's difficult to deal with. I hate the attention. You guys treat me like an actual toddler, it's obnoxious."
He sighs, "I understand that. I see how irritated you get sometimes. You should've told us sooner; it's not good to hold it in. We have to communicate while living like this. I understand why you wouldn't want to tell us. It's hard confronting your family about things."
"What do I do? They all must be upset with me. I didn't mean to make them mad. I just needed space. I can't breathe sometimes. It makes me feel like I'm going insane."
"Maybe you should talk to Chan first. It would be the biggest rock to get over, alright? Do you want me to get him in here?"
I agree, thanking him quietly before he leaves. Guilt pools in my stomach at thought of upsetting our leader. He's trying his best. I bury my face in my hands, forcing the tears back. I hated crying.
"Hey Jeongin," Chan calls out, kneeling in front of me. He grasps my wrists, gently pulling them away from my face. When I don't meet his eyes, he takes it in account to lift my chin. My lip trembles at the thoughts of what he would say next. I had nothing to fear, only my own anxiety daunting me.
"Why wouldn't you tell us that's how you felt?" His voice is soft, like how he had spoken to Felix when he got eliminated off of the show.
"I was scared," I whisper, a pout forming on my lips, "the maknae is supposed to respect his older brothers. I didn't want you guys to be mad at me."
He shakes his head, wrapping his built arms around my frail body. I breathe in his fresh scent, relief spreading through me without him having to speak.
"We wouldn't get mad at you for having feelings. You really should have told us. I know we overdue it sometimes. Next time, talk to us, okay? We'll figure something out."
I nod, feeling safe in my leader's arms. We stay a minute before he pats my back and pulls away. He wipes an old tear away with his thumb.
"Let's go talk to others, okay?" He suggests and I bow my head, standing up.
How did we get lucky enough to end up with such a great leader?
•How was this?•
