"Deep breaths, Ji," Felix soothes, rubbing his best friend's back as he sobbed into a pillow.
Jisung was lying on his stomach, a complete mess. He did it because he knew it wasn't making him happy. He knew the other didn't care like he did. He knew it wasn't going to last. He just wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.
Jisung lifted his head from the pillow, not wanting his next rant to be muffled.
"I haven't been happy since we started dating. I mean, I was. I was really happy, but the little things he did made me feel the worst. I tried to force it. Every time we would have an actually good conversation, I would think to myself, 'it's going to be okay.' But he didn't care, not like he did. I know that, Lix. I knew it from the start. I knew it. It wasn't gonna work. The past times it never worked, so why would this time be any different? I just wanted to give it one last go, you know? I shouldn't have put as much effort as I did when he barely put in any. I don't know what I was expecting. He said he wanted to change, and I knew that he hadn't. The feelings weren't mutual when it came to taking care of one another. It's my fault for giving him another chance, I've already taken that responsibility. You guys told me it wasn't gonna end well, but I already knew that. It's my fault. I know it is. I knew better, but I just wanted him in my life again. To see if these feelings would finally fade after four years of hardships. I just wanted to see how long it lasted before it turned to shit again. I've always known it was gonna end bad. We both knew it wasn't going to last, but he didn't even try to keep it going. He said to me that he didn't care. That was the last straw, Lix. We were always better as friends than together. I just wish I would've said no when he asked me out. I wish I would've said, 'let's wait awhile. Being friends is good enough for me.' But I didn't. And I wish I did. I just hope we can stay friends. I don't want him completely out of my life. I-I... God, Felix-" Jisung began to cry again, dropping his head onto the already soaked pillow.
After talking it over many times with Felix weeks prior, Jisung finally had the balls to meet up with his not-so-caring boyfriend.
"Hey, I brought you your Christmas gift."
"I didn't get you anything. I'm not taking it."
"I'm not taking it back with me. I'll just leave it outside until you decide to take it in."
"Jisung, I don't want it."
"I don't care."
The other male roles his eyes, huffing to himself.
Jisung had set the gift down by the door his boyfriend was standing at. They both looked at the neatly wrapped present, Jisung hoping that he would take it inside when he left.
"We uh, we also need to talk."
"What about?"
"Us."
They stood there in silence before Jisung clenched his eyes shut and took in a deep breath. "We should break up."
The other let out a breath of his own, gazing down at the cement of his driveway. "Yeah."
"We just don't work together. I think we both know that."
The other boy bites his tongue, "I know." He stands up straight, "I'll give you back the bracelet-"
"No. Please, just keep it. Hide it away. Just please, don't throw it away or give it back. I want you to have it. We had our fun together. We had good memories. Just keep it. Please."
The older bites his lip before nodding slowly, agreeing against his will.
"I-I guess I should get going... can I... can I have one last hug?"
The boy nods, lifting his limp arms.
Jisung steps forward, wrapping his arms around the familiar waist. They stood there, only for a few seconds. Longer, it would've hurt worse. Jisung places a soft kiss on the male's cheek, a closure kiss. It sounded stupid, but to Jisung, it was everything.
"Thank you, for uh, being my best friend. Do you- do you think we can stay friends? We don't have to like... talk a lot or hangout. Just... friends?"
"I don't know if that's a good idea, Jisung."
"Yeah... yeah, I know."
"I'll think about it. I won't unadd you or anything."
"Thank you."
"Yeah."
They stood there again before Jisung turned around and opened his car door.
"Bye..."
"Bye."
And that was it. The final heartbreaking moment Jisung dreaded since they first started dating. He didn't want it to drag on any longer.
When Jisung had gotten home, he slid down his door and just cried. Everything he was put through was finally out. There was no going back.
It was done.
•••
