I sit in my desk, staring down at the empty sheet of paper. Felix sits next to me, his pencil moving across his paper. So many thoughts were running through my mind and none of them were on this stupid essay.
My eyes continued roaming the paper, but I couldn't think of what to write. There was too much going on inside my head that I couldn't focus on the task I was given.
By the end of class, I still had nothing written down. I felt hopeless. We had to give the teacher our papers when we walked out and I shamefully handed it to her, my name being the only thing on it.
"I-I'm sorry, I couldn't write today."
"You couldn't write? Why?" She questioned, not usually having problems with me.
"I-I just couldn't," I spoke, and suddenly, tears were building in my eyes and my throat was closing. "Have a nice day."
I quickly sped away towards Hyunjin who was waiting for me so we could walk to our next class together. I kept my head down so he wouldn't notice anything. We walked down the hall but I wasn't able to see anything.
I grasped his arm as I began to let the tears free. He looked over and I felt his hand grasp my hand that was holding onto him. He spoke calmly to me as we continued walking. All the way to the band room, I hid my face behind my books.
"Just breathe, Sung," he said, continuing to turn around a corner.
As soon as we reached the instrument room, he let me set my stuff down and pulled me into a hug. I held in as many sobs as I could, knowing there were people around us.
"It's okay, it's okay," he said, patting my back and letting me calm myself down.
He left the room so I could both get my instruments. I still had red streak marks down my face and I lowered my head so I wouldn't be questioned about it.
Minho was already in his seat and that had me a bit panicked. I didn't want him to question why I was crying, because honestly, I didn't know why. Luckily, Chris sat in between us.
While our band instructor was talking, Minho called me over to sit next to him since we were on the same part. I agreed even though I knew my eyes were still red.
"I like your hair today, it looks really nice," he smiled before holding up his instrument to play the part.
"Thanks," I say, doing the same. I won't lie, the compliment did make my day a tiny bit better.
-
Once I got home, I laid on my bed. The ride home wasn't as bad since I had talked to Jeongin the whole time. Now, I was alone... and it sucked.
I felt like crying again, but I didn't know why. Maybe it was the fact that I was just overwhelmed with multiple different things.
Friends being assholes. Missing other friends who lived in other countries. Family issues always being there. School essays and tests where I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. My crush on Minho not ceasing anytime soon.
Everything had built up and I just finally broke. I didn't want to break right there though. That was embarrassing. Right in front of my teacher. Wow. How pathetic.
Everything had been going so well. I was happy. Or at least I thought so. I don't know what to do now. I just want to be happy.
Why can't I be happy...?
•How was this?•
