I cough into my fist, tears springing to my eyes immediately. My lungs burned as I kept coughing. I lean down on the table, feeling someone pat my back.
"What's wrong with you?" Changbin questions, worry prevalent in his eyes.
"Ah, just something weird in my throat." I pick up my water, taking a small sip from it.
To be honest, I wasn't feeling great. I woke up to a sweaty, sticky face and a headache. I thought it was because I hadn't slept all that great, until shivers became apparent throughout the day. One second, I was cold. A minute later, there would be sweat beading down my forehead.
I knew there was something going on, but we had to record a live performance today. I wasn't planning on missing it, especially since we all had been stuck at home in quarantine for that week.
It was a fever, though. I could tell by the exhaustion that settled in my bones. There was no way I was going to tell my members, though. Maybe after, but not now. I had made it this far through the day. I'm not giving up now, no matter how sluggish my legs were.
"Jisung, pay attention," Chan shakes my shoulder, frowning at me. He was going over the plan for this evening, telling us how it would go.
"Sorry."
With this raging fever, I couldn't focus. His voice sounded like it was underwater and my legs were trembling underneath me.
As he let us go off to eat, he grabs me, pulling me back. "You feelin' okay? You're pale."
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just a headache. The color is probably from makeup, don't worry." I smile at him, turning back to the food area.
I knew I wasn't fooling him. I just needed to stay upright until after. Then I could be as sick as I pleased. Maybe not too sick, just a bit.
My butt hits the floor and I sigh, slouching over with food in my lap. It wasn't looking too appetizing, but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't eat.
No one really bothered me after Chan had called me out, so they're either oblivious or they know something's up.
It's a few minutes before we go on, and everything is blurry. Hyunjin is behind me, helping me put my in-ears through my shirt. His hand is on my shoulder, steadying my body.
"Are you okay? You're already sweating."
I nod, not trusting myself to speak out loud. He finishes quickly, letting me sit down once he was done. I thought he was gone, so I lean forward, letting my hands hold my head.
Closing my eyes seemed to move my body without realizing. It was like someone was shaking me, wanting to play with me.
A hand pressed against my forehead, scaring me back against the chair. Hyunjin is kneeling down, his eyebrows coming together.
"You have a fever."
"No, I don't."
"Jisung-"
"Just wait until after the performance. I'm okay. I already took some medicine. Please, hyung," I desperately whisper, looking at him with pleading eyes.
"Fine. Afterward, I'm telling Chan. I don't want you making it worse when you could've easily prevented it. Are you sure you can perform?"
"Yes, I promise. I'll be okay."
I'm not okay. We're in our positions, waiting for the backstage staff to give us the cue. I force my eyes open, breathing in deeply through my nose.
The music starts, forcing me out of my thoughts. As I dance, my feet are quick enough to hold me up. I move with everything I have, not wanting to ruin this for everyone.
It's the middle of the performance, and everything is spinning. I'm basically going off of muscle memory and counting. It's okay. We're almost done. Hyunjin will take care of me when we're done.
Sweat trails down my back, sending shivers up my spine. I don't make it noticeable; fancams were watching. I don't want any discomfort on camera. Fans watching me crumble would be highly embarrassing.
We all breathe heavily as we stare in the camera, giving our final power looks. We wait a few seconds before getting the okay.
"Jisung-"
I collapse to my knees, my shoulder hitting the floor. I land on my back, the lights above me mixing together. The members are next me, grasping at my limbs. Staff are rushing toward us, water and towels in hand.
"Step aside, give him some room," our manager directs, crouching down. "Han, can you hear me?"
I groan, trying to pick myself up. He pushes me back down, putting something under my head. It was soft. I relax a bit, feeling better as I lay on the floor.
"Lay here for a minute, it's okay. Were you doing bad before the performance or did you push yourself too hard?"
I hold up one finger, telling him it was the first option. Fuck me. I'm too stubborn. This is my fault.
"How bad?"
"Fever, dizziness, headache."
"Gosh," he shakes his head. "Why wouldn't you say anything?"
"Performance," I mumble, lifting my hand and placing it over my eyes.
"Can you sit up for me?"
I nod, taking a few second to sit up. Chan comes over and helps me stay upright.
"Drink some water."
He lifts the bottle to my mouth, letting me take small drinks of it. "Can you carry him to the back? We should get him back in his clothes so these ones don't make his fever worse. He's drenched with sweat."
"I got him," Chan nods, wrapping his arms underneath my body and lifting me like I weighed nothing.
Our manager directs some staff to get my things and another to get my clothing. Chan carries me while the others follow behind. I was grateful that they couldn't see my face because I felt and probably looked disgusting.
"I asked you if you were feeling okay. Why did you lie to me, Jisung? We could've easily prevented this."
"We've been gone so long, Channie," I complain, missing my Stays. I'm sure they missed us too, despite our attempts to stay active.
"They would've understood."
I hum, laying my head on his shoulder. The next scene was a blur. I felt a lot of people's hands on me and then just one single hand. I lift my eyelids, seeing Minho grasping my hand as we waited for the others.
He makes eye contact immediately, smiling sadly. "We'll be home soon enough. I'm sure you'd like to sleep, yeah?"
Humming, I close my eyes again. Exhaustion was taking over. All I heard last was: "sleep well, Hannie."
•How was this?•
