Merder

What does this mean?

I must've looked worried because Mark stopped me.
" Derek? What's wrong?" He asked standing in front of me.
" I... I need to.. Umm.. Talk to Mer. Where is she?"
" I think she's in the cafeteria."
" thanks."
I went to the table where she was sitting.
" Derek?" She asked.
" can I speak to you?"
" yeah." She said.
" I brought her to an on- call room."
" what's going on?"
" Umm I just got a phone call.."
" from who?"
" the president."
" the what?" She was as shocked as I was
"The president."
" of the United States?"
" yes."
" of America?"
" the one and only."
" asking?"
" if I could lead their brain mapping program."
" that's fantastic derek."
" in D.C."
" well we would have to talk about it."
" I think we should do it. I think this should be our next step."
" let's talk about it at home." She said and walked away.
I didn't have any surgeries so Mark and I went to the daycare to hang with the kids.
" so anything new?" He asked
" no. You?"
" no not really. You looked frazzled this morning. Everything okay?"
" yeah I'm fine. "
" I'm here if you want to talk about it."
" thanks. You'll know soon."
I got up and got the kids ready to go home.

AT HOME:

" but I don't want to go. I told Cristina I would stay here."
" mer she left she's not coming back."
" you don't know that!"
" but I do! Listen they promised to have a job for you there."
" see they said the same exact thing to my mother about Thatcher. They wanted her so they had to give him a job."
" that's not like that."
" yes it is. In everyone's eyes you'll always be that hot shot surgeon and I'll be that young intern that fell in love with you.
" if that's how you see yourself there's nothing I can do about that."
" I don't thats the problem."
" we are going to D.C."
" no we are not. You can if you want to."
" you want me to choose between this job and my family?"
" I don't want to leave Derek I grew up here, my family's here, my house is here, my sisters name is on the hospital, my moms name, my name. I'm not leaving Derek. I am staying here."
I walked away slamming the door. Mer followed.
" that's it Derek wake up the kids."
" what do you want from me. I'm trying to do the best for everyone. You. Me. The kids."
" that's fine but I'm not leaving. If you want to go then go. Nobody's stopping you. If you're not happy then go. I don't know why you haven't if you're not happy."
" because of that," I pointed to the post it " because I meant that. I promised I wouldn't run. That I would love you."
" even when you hate me."
" even when I hate you."
" what are we gonna do Derek?"
" I'm not leaving my family. I'll tell them no."
" you can't tell the president no Derek."
" I'm gonna have to aren't I?"
" no you can still go. I don't want you to resent me. You go I'll stay here."
" no this isn't up for discussion anymore Meredith. I chose you and the kids."
" but I don't want you too."
" you don't want me to choose my family?"
" no I don't want you to choose to stay."
" I don't get it meredith what do you want me to do?"
" I don't know Derek. I just.. I don't know."
" I already made my decision."
" don't call them Derek."
" I'm calling them."
I picked up the phone and dialed the number.