Merder

To miss an opportunity like this

DEREK POV:

I haven't been home in a week. I woke up this morning from a text from Mer.

From Meredith:

I'll pick up the kids from daycare tonight. I love you. Miss you.

To Meredith:

Fine by me.

From Meredith:

When are you coming home?

To Meredith:

I don't know.

And I left it at that. I went to work and saw that all my surgeries were with Meredith.
" Hunt!" I yelled as I saw him down the hall.
" what's up shepherd?"
" no surgeries with my wife."
Mark walked in.
" what?" Owen asked
" just take Meredith's name off where his is." Mark said
" I can't they are already booked. She knows about them."
I just stared at him.
" do you think he cares? Fine I'll do it." Mark said taking the eraser and erasing M. Grey from all my surgeries.
" thank you." I said walking away.

MARK POV:

" what's his problem?" Owen asked
" marital issues. You're his brother- in - law welcome to the family".
" mm thanks."
I walked away.

MEREDITH POV:

I walked towards the OR board.
" hunt?" I asked
" yes grey?"
" why is my name replaced with Bailey?"
" change in schedule."
" you mean change in Derek."
He didn't say anything. I walked away.
I found Derek in an on- call room.
" how long is this going to go on for derek?"
" what?"
" this whole, running away thing."
"I'm not running away."
" but you are. Why don't you just leave if you're not happy?"
" I already told you why."
" I don't want you to resent me Derek just go."
" I CANT GO MEREDITH!"
" whys that?"
" BECAUSE I CHOSE YOU AND THE KIDS. I PROMISED THINGS AND I STAND BY MY PROMISES. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO MISS AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS! SO IF I WANT TO STEP AWAY FROM EVERYTHING FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS IM ALLOWED TO!"
" go Derek. Just go."
" I'm not going anywhere."
" so be miserable what can I say."
" you're sorry."
" what?"
" say I'm sorry Meredith. Say something that makes me think that you actually understands what this means for my career. That was my biggest shot and I turned it down. For you. For the kids. I'll never get that chance again. And don't tell me to go because you gave me an ultimatum and you didn't think I choose the right one but you know I did. Just say I'm sorry."
" I'm sorry but I can't say I'm sorry."
" because you're not".
" I don't think you are either".
" I'm not sorry I chose to stay here. I'm sorry because I said no."
" then go."
" Mer I'm not leaving."
" we can end this if that's what's holding you back."
" you wanna end this?"
" do you?"
Nobody said anything.
" you can still go Derek. I'll call them".
" no it's over Meredith. Understand that once something is gone, it's gone for good."
" what does that mean?"
" cristina isn't coming back. She is more than happy where she is. That's why I wanted to take out next step. She's not coming back."
Meredith walked away. Everybody was standing in the doorway. Mark came in.
" don't." Was all I said
" I wasn't gonna say anything".