Merder

Tragedy part 3

The day after the surgery Lexie woke up. I haven't slept in days and I was running on sleep deprivation. Mer was running around with the kids all day. I walked into Mark's room who was packing his bags.
" you ready to go home?" I asked.
" I'm not going home Derek im going to see my wife."
" I know Mark listen, she's okay for now she's fine. She's awake, she's responsive, and she's asking for you."
" she's asking for me?"
" yeah Mark she is." He smiled and gave me a hug.
" thank you."
" you're welcome."
We both went into her room.
" Derek please tell me I get to go home today." She said
Everyone was staring at me.
" well I know for a fact for all of the people who are staring at me you know the answer.... Lex I'm sorry you just had surgery you can't go home."
" come on derek its almost Christmas and I need to go shopping."
" I know so do I but I can't until I get you healed up and feeling better."
She groaned.
" sorry lex." I said. Meredith walked out of the room with me.

"when do you think she'll be able to go home?" mer asked

" come on you know i can't answer that." I put my arm around her.
" I know, do you have any other surgeries today?"
" no I'm supposed to be watching Lexie and the ER."
" I think Hunt assigned us all to the ER."
" come on we better get down there."
It was quiet when we got there. There seemed to be no surgical cases. We all stood around talking when my pager went off. I didn't want to look at it. Everyone stared a me.
" 911...." I sighed " Lexie." I ran to her room.
" what's going on?" I asked. Mark was crying by the wall.
" she's coding again Derek help her!" Mark yelled
" push one of Epi and someone get the paddles ready!" I yelled
" Derek please... Please for me save her." He kept saying.
" CHARGE TO 200 CLEAR!" No heartbeat
"CHARGE IT AGAIN 300 CLEAR!" Still nothing. I looked at Mark.
" SOMEBODY GET HIM OUT OF HERE NOW!"
" NO DEREK I DONT WANNA GO!"
" MARK GET OUT NOW!"
A couple of nurses escorted him away from the room.
" what's going on shepherd?" Karev asked
" she's crashing."
" can you save her?"
" I don't know.." I looked at him. He had to know my mind was somewhere else because he started to take over.
" take over compressions for doctor shepherd. Derek step away." A nurse tried to take over.
" I'm okay Karev."
" Derek cmon you can't do this anymore."
" yes I can alex. If you wanna take over fine but I'm not leaving."
" nobody said you had to you aren't blood related but she is your sister - in- law so you have to step away Derek."
I stepped away. He paged everyone.
" what happened?" Bailey asked once everyone came in. I just kept looking at the floor and Lexie.
" oh god... Derek, you shouldn't be here." Cristina came and put a hand on my back.
" I'm not going anywhere." I said. Amy came in and looked at me.
" derek we are gonna do everything we can." Amy said.
" alright let's get her to the OR I don't know how much longer we have to try to save her." Hunt said
" she's been down for 5 minutes." I mumbled.
" alright let's move."

Nobody's POV:

They got Lexie to the OR.
" what do we do?" Callie asked
" we do everything we can." Hunt said. Everyone agreed as they began doing what they had to do. They opened her up and ran tests.
" nothing wrong with her brain." Amy said
" nothing wrong with her bones." Callie said
" nothing wrong with her liver, spleen, or stomach." Bailey said.
" oh my god..." Cristina said.
" what?" Hunt asked
" it's her heart."
Everyone stood still.
" is it salvageable?" Richard asked.
" I don't know... "
" what's the problem?" Hunt asked
" her aorta has a tear in it."
Everyone's face went pale. Derek walked in.
" how's it going?" He asked
" Derek.." Callie said
" Karev go talk to him in the scrub room." Hunt told him.
They both went into the scrub room. Everyone else was either helping cristina to try to repair the heart or watching through the window Alex telling Derek.
" Derek we are doing everything we can but there is a tear in her aorta."
" wha what do you mean tear?"
" in the right ventricle.. Derek I'm so sorry."
" no it's not over until she's dead they can still save her."
Karev went back into the OR. Derek stepped in.
" Derek you can't be in here." Hunt said
Karev stopped him.
" let him be here. It's best if she had someone here."
Blood was spurting everywhere.
" THE SUTURES ARENT HOLDING!" Cristina yelled.
Everyone jumped to help her out. Derek went over to help with the lap pads. She flatlined again. Derek started to pump on her chest.
" Derek it's no use the aorta is destroyed!" Hunt told him.
Everyone had tears in their eyes.
" DONT STOP WORKING! PUSH ONE OF EPI !"
" DEREK WE CANT DO ANYTHING ANYMORE WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD WE GOTTA LET HER GO THERES TOO MUCH DAMAGE NOW!"
" NO I CANT ITS LEXIE I CANT JUST LET HER GO! THINK ABOUT MARK AND MEREDITH!"
" THINK ABOUT HER DEREK! THINK ABOUT WHATS BEST FOR HER. WE CANT DO ANYTHING DEREK IM SORRY!"
Everyone had tears in their eyes and they wouldn't look each other in the eyes.

DEREK POV:

No one could look me in the eye.
" Cristina call it." Hunt said
" time of death 11:47."
" I'm so sorry Derek." Alex said
I started to walk out.
" Derek..." April started to follow me out.
" don't..." Jackson stopped her " let him go."
I grabbed my mask and pulled it off. It felt like everything was going in slow motion. I took off my surgical cap and threw it on the floor. I scrubbed out and went for a walk. I couldn't breathe.
I passed Meredith.
" Derek...? Derek what's wrong?" She asked. I didn't answer.
" DEREK!!!" She yelled down the hall.
I kept walking. I went to the daycare to see the kids. I saw Elizabeth and I went over to her.
" I'm so sorry Elizabeth. I did everything I could. We did everything we could. I'm so sorry little girl. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I stood up to see everyone looking through the window at me. They all were crying. I walked out.
" Derek..." Cristina said.
I put my hands on the wall to support me as I started to slide down. I started to cry. Hunt came over picked me up and gave me a hug. I fought him off but then just stopped and broke down. Everyone was crying at this point.
" it's not right it's not right." Is all I kept saying.
" I know derek I know we'll get through it that I promise." Hunt was crying.
I got up.
" I have to go tell Meredith."