Merder

When its all gone

Nobody POV:

" what time are you leaving work?" Jackson asked
" I'm leaving soon. Derek is at the church already." Alex said
" are we all riding together?" April asked
" yeah, we might as well."

AT THE FUNERAL...

" where's Derek?" Jo asked
" over there." Alex said pointing to the front.

Alex POV:

I walked over to Derek and Amelia with the kids.
" Derek." I said and he looked up. You could tell he got no sleep and been crying. He stood up and gave me a hug.
" I'm so sorry Derek. Really."
" thanks Alex."
Then I saw someone in the corner of my eye. I looked over.
" Cristina?" I asked
She came over and gave me a hug.
" Alex. How are you? I've missed you."
" I'm good I've missed you too."
" Derek I am so sorry."
" thank you."
" Cristina when did you get here?" I asked
" this morning. "
" you can stay at our house."
" thanks Karev."

Nobody POV....
It was time for the speeches and Cristina went first.

" Meredith, oh Mer. What did you do? You left me, your friends, your family all alone here. You will always be my twisted sister, my better half, my person. I couldn't have gotten this far without you always being there for me. I'll miss you Mer. I love you."

Then Amelia, Alex, Jackson, Owen, Callie, Jo, April, Arizona, Richard, Ben, and Miranda.
Then Zola. They all knew this one was going to be hard.
" mommy? You there mom? I just wanted to say thank you for everything. For teaching me right from wrong. I'll miss you mommy. I wish you were still here."
Everybody was crying.
Derek's turn.
" Meredith. Mer. I don't know what to say. I love you. I always will. I will miss you. You were my everything. You still are. Rest easy sweetheart."
Everybody was shocked on how short his was. Then everybody walked up to say their personal goodbyes.

Cristina: " Mer, I'll miss you. You're my sister. You're my family. You're all I've got. I never thought you would go. Derek is distraught but they'll keep an eye on him. I will too. They don't know it yet but I'm staying. I can't leave after this. Anyway, i love you Mer rest easy."

Alex: well Mer, I never thought this would happen. I can't believe you're gone. I'll watch over the kids and Derek. So don't worry we've got it handled. I love you Mer you are one person who kept me going through all this. I'll miss you Mer"

Addison: " how could you do this Mer? To Derek? This is breaking him. He's broken. He left me for you and you left him. I'll miss you Mer but he will never be over this."

Derek: " well what do I do now. We never discussed this. Never thought one of us would go this early. I love you Mer and I'll miss you. I will never forget you. You're everything to me. I love you."

He just sat there with her.

AT THE END OF THE NIGHT...

" Derek where are you sleeping night?" April asked
" I'm sleeping at home."
" you sure you don't want to sleep over our house?"
" yeah I am. I just need to be left alone for awhile. Thanks everybody for coming. It would've meant a lot to her."
They all left.

A WEEK LATER...

" it's been a week and he hasn't even stepped foot into the hospital." Jackson said
" has anybody stopped by the house to see if he's okay?" April asked
" I have. Every time  I check he's lying on the couch, crying or staring into blank space."
" and the kids are not understanding why "dad" isn't there to take care of them." Owen said
" something needs to be done." Jo said
" Guys stop. This is not something we get over in a day, a week, a month or even a year. We lost a life, a friend, a family member. We may never get over that. And if we can't then what makes you think he can. Let him do what he needs to just like we will do what we need to." Alex said and walked away.

Alex POV:

I called Derek's cell and got voicemail. I called all day and got the same thing. At the end of the shift I got the guys gathered.
" what's going on Karev?" Owen asked
" we're going to Derek's."
" but I thought you said..." I  cut Jackson off
" I know what I said. But he's not answering his cell."
" okay let's go."
We drove to the house and the lights were on. We peaked through the windows and he was lying on the couch just staring. I opened the door. He didn't move.
" Derek, cmon you gotta get up." I said and he didn't move
" Derek come on get up." Jackson said and still nothing
" Derek the kids need you." Owen said and nothing.
" fine we'll check in the morning." I said

IN THE MORNING....
Nobody POV:

Everybody met at Derek's house. They opened the door. They tried to get him up but nothing worked.
" make him breakfast." Amelia said
" what?" Jo asked
" just do what I said." She ran to his bedroom and took clothes out. She came back downstairs and threw the clothes at him.
" alright get up. Times up. Time to start getting back to work. Come on Derek get up and get dressed." But he didn't move.
Amelia pulled on his arm eventually rolling him off the couch.
" see Derek this is why we use our feet to stand up. You need to get up. It's time. Now get up, stand up. Cmon!" She yelled. He looked at her.
" listen I know you miss Mer. We all do. We are all holding ourselves together with tape and glue. You're not alone. That's why we're here. We're going through the same thing as you are now
cmon get up!" She yelled.
He started to move. When he finally got changed he ate and they headed to work.
" he really is nothing without her." Jackson said
" it's like she sucked the life out of him." Jo said
" yeah well this is what happens when it's all gone."
" you think he'll ever be okay?" April asked
" okay, no. We will all be forever in the healing process."

LATER ON...

" does anybody know if Derek did a surgery?" Amelia asked
" no he's been staring at blank space all day." Alex said
" 911!" Jackson yelled and they all ran. Derek just stood there.
" DEREK COME ON 911 LETS GO!" Amelia yelled and he looked at her and walked to the ER.
" DEREK THIS ONES YOURS!" Amelia yelled and everyone stopped and looked at Derek.
" what?" Owen asked
" he needs to get back into things."
" he just lost his wife Amelia. His not cleared for surgery look at him!"
" it'll be good for him!"
" this ones on you."
" fine whatever. You people want him better you need to help him get there."
" DEREK LETS GO!" Yelled Amelia as she went into the trauma room and Derek followed.

IN THE OR....

" okay Derek you wanna do this part?" Amelia asked. Everybody had finished their surgeries and was there to watch Derek. He didn't respond.
"Derek?" Amelia asked. Still nothing. She stepped away from the patient an handed Derek the scalpel.
" you know how to do this. It's a routine procedure you could do this in your sleep."
He started. He was working slowly. Suddenly the patient was bleeding and bottoming out fast.
" DEREK DO SOMETHING !"  Amelia yelled but he jumped back and stood there.
" Derek!" She yelled.
Owen came over the intercom. Everybody was on their feet.
" AMELIA TAKE CONTROL. TAKE THE SCALPEL FROM HIM AND FIX THE SURGERY NOW!"  Owen yelled
" NO OWEN HE NEEDS TO DO THIS!"
" AMELIA!"
" DR. HUNT I KNOW WHAT IM DOING SO STOP DISRUPTING  MY OR!"
" Derek you know this. You know what to do so do it. It's like riding a bike. You got it. Just start."
He didn't move.
" DEREK!"
The patient flatlined.
" MOVE DEREK!" She took the scalpel and stared at him. Derek was freaking out inside. He sat down on the floor.
Amelia sat down with him.
" what happened today?" She asked him. He just stared at the floor.
" Derek?"
Still nothing
" you may not want to talk to me but you need to talk to somebody. I'll take the kids tonight. Get some help Derek. Talk to somebody."
With that she walked out leaving him on the floor staring into the air.